“Run your race,” we’ve all heard it. Scripture says it, but how does it compare to real life? I’ve never run track in my life, in fact I hate running unless it’s away from something, but I’ve watched friends run. A lot of time I feel like the person in the innermost lane who starts waaaay behind everyone else. It’s almost like you’re set up to start off discouraged because you look up and see how far you have to catch up. However the inner lane has a huge advantage because it’s also the shortest. From a spiritual perspective what we see before us in the natural does not correlate with where we really are in the spiritual. I’m 25. Most of my friends are seriously dating someone, are getting married and even some are having kids. I wanted to be in that position for a long time. In fact that was my prayer to be married by now, but I’m not. There is a new kind of loneliness that tries to sneak in because I can’t relate to people like we used to. We are all investing in new and different things. It’s very difficult not comparing the track lane I’m in with someone else and where they are in the field.
Too often I think we trying running in someone else’s lane with them, or stay alongside when ours is starting to turn another direction. What is so terrifying about our lanes? I can tell you. The fear of the unknown and running it “alone.” That’s me right now. My path has veered far from everyone else and taking me to places around the world. Don’t get me wrong I couldn’t be more excited, but it’s the here and now I feel is most difficult. My friendships are changing. People I’ve invested a lot into (and vice versa) seem to be pulling ahead. I fear missing out, and where do you think that stems from? All the way to the beginning, the very beginning to our first parents Adam and Eve. They thought they were missing out.
I feel that way quite a bit. Maybe because I fear what all I won’t be a part of while I’m gone, but you know what? Compared to what’s coming it’s worth it. So so worth it! I’m getting to know my new family and the amount of love we’re already sharing is incredible, and we haven’t even all met in person yet! This is a body of believers whom I know God will use us mightily.
I’ll wrap it up with this. What made me reflect on all this in the first place? The tattoos on my feet. I’ve gotten so used to them that when I look down I don’t pause and think on them like I used to. One is a lion, Aslan from Narnia, the other is a scroll with the words “I tell your story.” I took it from a couple of the Narnia books. Twice Aslan explains to one of the main characters not to concern themselves with what is happening with the others, but to focus on their story. All of our stories are only as exciting as we want it to be, and mine is about to get very, very exciting. My mind still can’t wrap around it all!
So for now, I may feel behind at times, but God is still preparing my heart and mind for what is to come. I need to prepare for the harvest. So instead of comparing I need to contrast my race. In this season I will make the most of it with whom I’m with. I will look forward to this continual growth and discipline. I will dig deeper and press in as deep calls unto deep. Here I am Lord! And you are sending ME!
