I can’t believe as I am sitting here in my dark hostel room at 6:30 a.m. that it is month 11 already. I remember month two sitting on the rooftop thinking this year would never end and how ready I am to be home. The girl from month 2 is no longer the same; the girl in month 11 is bold, strong, joyful, hopeful, fearless, trusting, and freed.
Last month we were in the amazing and beautiful country of Laos. My team was placed in Lao Vida, an adorable little bakery that was always full of tourists from around the world. We got to teach English to village boys that were criticized and even banished because they wouldn’t renounce their faith. We got to actually take over the café while the staff was away from holiday and made all the food and of course tasted the whole menu as well! It was the most unique looking month of the race but it is by far one of my favorites. I already miss Lao lessons with Mr. Green, I miss dinners at Dou Lin or Sabadees, and I miss the crazy conversations and dance parties that happened just hanging out in our hostile.
Laos is a closed country so speaking of the Lord was out of the question, but the Lord gave my team a safe place and we grew so much in our faith that month. I had a month that involved putting all my trust in what the Lord was speaking to me and being obedient to things he was asking. I had to make hard decisions but I am honored to give up what I needed in order to further the kingdom. All month long I kept hearing from the Lord that I needed to stop being Martha and start being Mary.
You see I am a major planner and organizer. I like to know things months in advance and plan everything around it and I mean everything. This month though, God was telling me to just sit and listen, so I did and it was amazing.
I have been afraid of going home since we got to Asia. I don’t want to go home and settle back into an everyday routine and forget about living dangerously and riskily for Jesus. I want to continue to see and love on his people not only in America but also in the world. God has called me to something greater than a 9-5 job and an apartment. Yes, I will need to work in order to do these things but I don’t want to be caged back into a life of tip- toeing around. I am not the same. I left the race ready to get married, get a career, and raise a family and that be it, but not month 11 I am ready to say yes to whatever God has for me. Whether its teaching in America or overseas, moving to Georgia to help my amazing squad mates start their organization for trafficked women, or going to Spain to attend G42 and continue to grow in my knowledge for the Lord. I know most parents don’t agree or understand this type of living but I have been experiencing it for a year now and I don’t ever want to stop.
This new -found freedom was bought for me with the blood of Jesus. He created me with a desire to love, travel, and seek out adventure. He has given me courage and crazy boldness and he sees me as good!! I now understand why the Lord told me to give up being Martha. If I try to plan out my life I am going to miss it. I’m going to miss his words he is whispering in my ear. I can’t worry about what my family is going to say or what my friends will think. I was born to stand out because I am a daughter of the Most High and I don’t conform to the pattern of this world.
The unknown can be scary, but it is also beautifully exciting! I might not have everything planned or know what I truly what I want to do when I get home but I am excited for the adventure that is going to continue. Month 10 was an incredible month full of obedience, love, laughter, trust, and letting go. I will always be thankful for my time in Laos and I hope one day the Lord just might bring me back there. I am no longer afraid of what is to come. I have been un-caged from my fear. I have been freed!!!
