All I can say is that God is FAITHFUL.
He keeps His promises!
Read on if you want to hear about how God gave me a promise and how I saw it come into fruition 4 months later…
During the beginning of month 5 of my race, we were flying from Central America to embark on the next 4 months of the race in Asia.
As soon as our plane touched down in Malaysia, I heard the Lord speak.
God said, “Kels, you are going to love Asia. This is going to be a great four months, but it will also be a very difficult four months. I will be with you through it all.”
“Alright, Lord. Let’s do this,” I thought to myself, ready for the challenge ahead of me.
Around three weeks went by, ironically, I found myself in a rut. I talked about this rut in previous blog posts “Boxing, Mercy, and Gold Metals” and “This Story is COCONUTS!!!” It was difficult for me to comprehend what I was experiencing. I was surely in a funk.
During that month, our ministry was in Penang, Malaysia, and we were serving with PENHOP (Penang House of Prayer) ministries. We went to church 4 times a week, and even spent 7 hours praising and worshipping the Lord in a single day.
To process life, I run to writing. It’s my go-to coping mechanism, and writing helps me figure out where I’m at emotionally, mentally, physically, socially, and spiritually with the Lord. That month, it was hard for me to put pen to paper because I wasn’t sure how to start. The Lord met me where I was at, as He faithfully does, and reminded me that I brought watercolors and art supplies on the race (that I still hadn’t used 5 months into the race…). During that time, I spent most of my hours in prayer and worship by painting—painting anything that came to mind just to make sense of where I was at with the Lord. I posted some pictures of some of the drawings below:
During one worship service at PENHOP, I cried out to the Lord and begged Him to send someone to me to give me a word or a picture for the season I was in—hoping their revelation would help me make sense of where I was at.
Immediately, one of my squadmates/raised up squad leader, Victoria, came up to me. She told me that the Lord doesn’t usually speak to her in pictures, but He gave her a picture for me.
Victoria—being used as a vessel for the Lord—said, “God told me that you are a strong house, Kelsey. You have a strong foundation in the Lord. He is taking down the walls and He’s reframing it to make it stronger. God is taking down a seemingly finished home—one that has been lived in—and He’s fixing the framing. Making what has been worn, stronger. I see the Lord gently and diligently strengthening your strong frame. And when He puts the outside (what the world sees) back up, it will be different and it will be good.”
Along with a verse from Ephesians 2:22, “In Him you also are being built together into a dwelling place for God by the Spirit.”
I can’t express how seen I felt by the Lord in that moment. He heard my prayers and my cries out to Him! He knew what I needed to hear. I took that picture to heart, and just remember overall feeling so pursued by the Lord.
Flash forward 4 months later to debrief in Kigali, Rwanda.
I was talking to one of my squadmates about how the past few months had been for me.
In all transparency and vulnerability, I told her how Thailand was the hardest month for me on the race, and how my thought-life was in a dark place. I was overthinking everything, and I didn’t sleep a handful of nights because I was thinking and thinking and thinking some more. It was dark. The enemy was taking territory over my mind, and somehow I was letting him. It was hard for me to have positive thoughts—to even see people in a positive light. I was counting wrongs, I was justifying fairness, my bitter heart was increasing, and I couldn’t shake off the frustration. Even in the moments of stillness, I would become overwhelmed by dark thoughts. It was unlike anything I had ever experienced. No one couldn’t tell I was struggling because I’m really good at covering things up [note: it’s not a good thing and I’m working on it—sanctification and transparency, right!?]. There was a war in my mind, and I was loosing, big time.
I told her that the Lord redeemed the end of Thailand for me, and allowed for my teammate, Cherish, and I to go to the Phi Phi Islands for a weekend of remembering, resting, and reflecting. Little did I know, the Lord would be restoring and redeeming the brokenness I was feeling, and it would be a weekend where I experienced the Lord’s breakthrough and peace like I never felt before.
I told her how that peace carried with me into Cambodia, but it was also a month where I had to go through some intense inner healing. I had to remember things I didn’t want to remember and lay those memories down at the feet of Jesus. It was difficult. I asked Him to cleanse me and renew me—that I would no longer walk in fear or shame, but I would walk confidently in the fullness God created me to walk in.
I told her how in the Philippines, the enemy was using the same strategies on me that he was using in Thailand. I felt the dark thought-life creep up on me again, but this time was going to be different. I remembered how the Lord delivered me through those hard times. I remembered what the Lord taught me, and how to overcome the darkness with the power of His light. I let people into the darkness I was experiencing, I asked my community to pray and interceed for me. I confessed and wrote down all of the thoughts I was having, and laid it all down at the feet of Jesus. I externalized it and put my darkness into the light, allowing for the light to expose the darkness for the pettiness it really was. I wouldn’t allow the darkness to take hold of me—putting it into the light allowed for the Lord to take it from me. I repented and asked Him to cleanse me with His unwavering grace. And you know what? He did. After some beautiful, fellowship-enriched intercession, I went to sleep that night FILLED WITH PEACE. Y’all—the Lord delivered me! I woke up without a single dark thought. HE IS GOOD. ENDLESS PRAISES for His intervention and grace on me! For the rest of those days, the Lord gave me His Kingdom perspective and allowed me to take my eyes off of myself, and instead, fixed on Him.
As I explained to her the trials I had experienced during the past three months, the Lord brought Victoria’s listening prayer picture to mind.
WOAH, REVELATION—GOD TOLD ME THIS WOULD HAPPEN! IT CAME TRUE!
My house was strong and sturdy. It had been worn in. It had gone through hard times, but it was founded on the Rock, and it was stable. But the Lord wasn’t going to leave it just like that. I was going to go through hard times—some long months of pruning—but the Lord would be with me through it all.
John 15:1-2 says, “I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, so that is may bear more fruit.”
God says that He prunes that branches that are yielding fruit for the sake of bearing even more fruit! God was saying that my branches were yielding fruit, but the Lord still had pruning to do. He had more in store for me. To bear more fruit, He would have to prune, but it would be worth it and would glorify Him.
As I told my alumni squad leader, Hannah, about all of this later, she said, “I feel like there’s a new found confidence in you. You’ve always been wise—but I just see more of a confidence now than ever before. It’s just really cool to see.”
It was a beautiful revelation! I felt so strong and secure in the Lord. Just as Victoria’s listening prayer picture stated, as God put the outside (what the world would see) back up, it would be different and it would be good. Hannah confirmed that the Lord’s promise was fulfilled by her being an outsider looking in. She saw a difference, and it was good. I say this to say that I feel stronger than ever before, and it’s all because of HIM! Glory be to HIM in all of this!! He is so good!
Just as God was faithful to His promises all throughout Scripture, He was faithful to them. Joshua 24:1-13 talks ALL about the promises the Lord made in Genesis and Exodus, and how God fulfilled all of them. I serve the same God, and He is STILL faithful till this day. Hallelujah!
On another note, I want to let you in on another word I heard from the Lord recently…
To be honest, I wasn’t really looking forward to Africa. I was PUMPED for Asia, but I wasn’t sure how to feel about Africa. I studied abroad in South Africa during college, but I knew East Africa would be SO DIFFERENT than South Africa. I wasn’t not pumped for Africa—I just felt unsure and uneasy about it.
As soon as our plane touched down to Uganda, I heard the Lord speak again (and I wasn’t even trying to hear anything from Him at the moment).
God said, “Kels, you are going to love Africa. These are going to be a sweet three months. You are going to take a lot of risks, so you just have to trust me. I will not fail you. You will be safe. Just trust me.”
Well—I liked this word from the Lord A LOT more than the last word I heard from Him about the coming months! I’m telling you this to say in boldness that He is faithful, and He is a God of His promises. I can’t wait to share what these risks look like and how I’ll trust God during them! Hear the promise now, for it’s coming tomorrow.
Thanks for taking the time to read this. I know these posts get hundreds of reads, but I’m not entirely sure who you all are. Regardless, I am beyond grateful for your investment into my life over the last 9 months. Thank you for following along. Thank you for your prayers. Thank you for your encouragement and support. I would not be able to do this without you all, and I hope you sincerely know that!! I pray that these stories encourage you in your own faith walks, and that the Lord teaches you new things about Him through them.
Peace and grace,
Kels
