Remember when I was in Nicaragua a few months ago and God used a robbery to let a little girl know that He loved her? Remember how that little girl stole my bible and journal, and God used it for His glory? (read the story here)
I would love to tell you that that was the first time where an important item in my life suddenly went missing and the Lord taught me an incredible lesson through it… but this is definitely becoming a trend in my life—even before the race. And hey, if the Lord is glorified in it, so be it! He knows what He is doing, and I’m better from it.
God used a situation on February 19th, 2017 when I was in Penang, Malaysia for month 5 of my World Race to teach me about His extravagant love and mercy.
We were on a mission: Find elephant pants in Malaysia.
My teammate, Sarah, and I ventured out into the city of Penang to find our beloved elephant pants we couldn’t wait to get a hold of. That month, we taught at a refugee school, and the building we taught in was very humid and hot! Sweat was the name of the game. Out of the respect for the dress code, we needed to wear skirts or pants that covered our knees. The lightweight, breezy material in the unventilated humidity was sounding more and more refreshing each day. Finally, the day had come.
Leading up to this point, I was in a rough spot with the Lord. Click on this blog for context: Boxing, Mercy, and Gold Metals. It seemed as though I had been running away from the Lord. But God—being a relentless pursuer—had been telling me about His grace and mercy for me repeatedly through His word and through the pictures He was giving me. For the first time in my life, I had a difficult time receiving it. He knew exactly how I needed to be reassured, and it went like this…
During our Uber drive into the city, our driver asked us a lot of questions. Being white Americans in Malaysia always brings up the typical set of questions, but this guy was so curious about every detail of our lives. Usually, I tried to use our Uber drives as a ministry opportunity to get to know our drivers and share God’s love with them, but that day I was not aligned with my intentions. Unfortunately, my humanness was showing, and it had been a week since I spent quality time with the Lord, so my patience was low and my irritation was high. In true vulnerability, it was the worst my attitude had been on the race, to date. I lied about why we were in Malaysia to keep the conversation short, I answered with one worded answers, and I justified my behavior because I had a pounding headache. Ugh—I feel terrible just thinking about it.
He dropped us off on the side of the road in the middle of the busy, touristy city, and sped off with a smile on his face. That guy was the NICEST.
To add to the already busy city, it was also Chinese New Year! The streets were flooded with people!
5 hours later after walking around, eating local food, finding our beloved elephant pants, and exploring the city, Sarah and I ventured back to a central café called The Black Kettle to catch up over a one-on-one.
As soon as we got to the café, I tried searching for my phone to connect to wifi… gone. I went through my backpack chaotically, and took out every item that was in there only to find out that my gut feeling was right—I lost my iPhone somewhere in the busy city of Penang.
My friend, Victoria, was in the café and she helped me try to “find my iPhone” and call my Uber to see if I left the phone in the car. Only to find out that nope—if your phone is on airplane mode, foreign numbers can’t call your phone! Everything we were trying was failing, and I felt helpless. On a deeper level, I sunk in my seat because I felt like I deserved it. I had been sinning with an unrepentant heart, I had been acting self-sufficient, prideful, and selfish, and I was running from God. I was in a low place to say the least, and I accepted that I lost my phone and I deserved it. Victoria and Sarah both took time to pray over me. Victoria declared in the name of Jesus that I would find my phone and that the Lord would teach me something great in it, and Sarah prayed that God cares about the little things in our lives that we care about—even an iPhone.
Immediately after, I felt the Lord say, “Kels—you need to retrace your steps.”
My mind at the time: “GOD, YOU KNOW VERY WELL THIS IS SUCH A BUSY CITY. SOMEONE PROBABLY FOUND IT AND IS GOING TO TRY TO SELL IT TO MAKE MONEY. THIS IS HOPELESS. WHY SHOULD I TRY TO GO FIND IT? IT’S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. IT’S BEEN 5 HOURS. IT’S GONE.”
God: “Retrace your steps, go alone, and find me. I’ve got this.”
God talked me into going, so I went. I ventured out into the busy city alone, and the Lord and I had a good conversation. There’s something powerful about speaking to God out loud when you’re alone. Sure, you get weird looks, but it’s so personal.
I had deep revelations about why I was running from the Lord, and the Lord opened my eyes to see that I was putting many things in my life before Him. He didn’t want me to make me feel bad about it… He just wanted me to be aware. He wanted me back.
I wept and repented. I turned towards the Lord. I’m usually not someone who makes “deals” with the Lord because… well… I’m not sure how biblical that is. But for some reason, the Lord prompted me to re-state my commitments to Him, and I felt led to sacrifice things to Him. I surrendered my selfish preferences to Him. I made some BIG commitments to the Lord, and I told Him I would stick to them if He helped me find my phone. I think I really just needed to have faith in Him again, in all honesty.
After walking for a while, I found myself right where the Uber driver dropped us off. I looked all over the ground and in the gutters to see if my phone was anywhere to be found. It was not.
I looked up to find a coconut stand run by a Malay man. Somberly, I went up to him and I said, “I have a crazy question to ask you.” Politely, he said, “Ask away.” I responded, “By any chance, did you happen to see a white and grey iPhone 5S on the ground here around 5 hours ago?” He stared at me, so I started to walk away.
As he rumbled through his belongings, he said, “Is this what you are looking for?”
THE GUY HANDED ME MY IPHONE.
With a mouth wide open and a look of pure shock on my face, I fell down to the ground in a seated position in awe of the situation.
“My customer found it and gave it to me,” he said with a grin on his face. At the time, I was thinking WHAT IN THE WORLD YOU COULD HAVE TAKEN IT AND SOLD IT FOR MONEY BECAUSE YOU’RE SELLING COCONUTS FOR A LIVING—YOU NEED IT WAY MORE THAN I DO.
As I stood back up, I took off my sunglasses, and emptied out what I had in my pockets. Sunglasses and a small team phone. That was all I had on me. Quite literally, I said, “I have nothing to offer you—I wish I could give you something to thank you.”
What came next was what did it for me…
He said, “You do not owe me anything. God bless you.”
WHAT, PEOPLE?!!!
Is this not a picture of the Lord’s mercy?!??!
This is what sets Jesus apart from any other religion. Jesus is a God of ABUNDANT grace and mercy. He paid the price—once and for all. He doesn’t want us to work for our forgiveness or work for our grace. He doesn’t want us to perform for Him. He accepts us as we are, and He is quick to be merciful to us. He delights on giving us grace! All we need to do is turn to God. God treasures the moments where we admit we can’t do it on our own… that we need Him. He doesn’t make us feel bad about it—He is relentlessly kind, instead! Delighted to see His children return to Him.
This is a God who sees our worst moments—example: that moment of me in the Uber being rude with our driver—and DELIGHTS in loving us, still!! It blows my mind. Do we truly understand the gravity of this?! I feel like our faith walks and our perception of others would be different if operated in this reality of His countercultural grace.
This is the reality: We cannot do anything to earn God’s love.
There is nothing less or nothing more we can do to receive His love.
His love for us has no conditions.
His love for us is steadfast.
His love for us is relentless.
His love is a free gift for you, and it’s a free gift for me.
His love is accessible and available to EVERYONE.
So right in that moment, it hit me.
The Lord wanted to show me His mercy for me through a Malay man at a coconut stand.
I had nothing to offer Him, and He blessed me so I could walk in freedom.
God’s love is coconuts!!
It doesn’t make sense!
But He gives it so freely without expectation.
peace + grace,
Kels
P.S. Let me know if this encouraged any of you in some way or another by commenting below!! 🙂
