I remember when I was in Jr High and High school. I loved going to church camp or concerts or trips with the youth group. I would come back home and be on FIRE for God. Then I’d start back to school, or just get back into a normal routine and the fire would fizzle out for awhile. It wouldn’t come back until the next event, and i went through the same cycle every time a big event came and went.
This pattern repeated again in college. There would be a big concert at school or some event that would fire me up for God, but the flames didn’t last long. I’d eventually burn down to embers, I wasn’t being a great example for Christ. Every once in awhile someone or something would come along and stir the fire and get a few flames going again. But for awhile I was barely burning.
At Training Camp, the flames burst through again. I was presented with different views of God, different perspectives of what He does in people’s lives and how much He loves us. I hope when I came home, people were able to see a difference in me.
But even though I have been on the mission field, working in different ministries, seeing God show up in tons of places and seeing how He has worked in my life and in others, my fire doesn’t always burn bright. I have days where I am not sure if God is there, if He hears me at all (see my previous blogs from Swaziland) and general doubts about my faith. This month in South Africa, we have been blessed to attended an amazing church where we worship in English. I know this is a simple thing, a familiar language. I know God hears and understands all languages, it doesn’t matter what language we worship. Church this morning was awesome, especially the praise and worship portion. I truly felt God’s presence in that place and a fire in my soul burning for Him. I started to question why I hadn’t felt that way in so long. Why don’t I put my all into worship EVERY time? Why do I force myself to stay still when I want to move my feet (aka dance)? Why am I self conscious about how my voice sounds when everyone else is belting out the song?
I want to be on fire for God all the time. I don’t want to be embers barely burning, where people can’t tell whom I live for. I don’t want to catch fire only at special ‘Christian’ events. I want flames sparked at every church service I attend, when I have a conversation with someone about God, and when I spend time in His presence. I want the fire constantly stirred.
I pray that others look for a passion for God, for ways to start their fire and to help facilitate that environment for others to feel on fire.
So all this talk about fire, I’d like to introduce the Firebreathers, my team in Jeffrey’s Bay, South Africa. My team hasn’t changed much but it has changed again. Mary, Lauren, Leann, and Melody are still on my team but we have added Corrinne Koschewa.
This month we are helping we a holiday vbs for two weeks. After that we will be spending time with the Lord and resting to get ready for the second half of the Race. J-Bay, as we have come to lovingly call our home for the month, is a surf town. In June, they host the Billabong Pros Supertube competition. In December, tons of South Africans have come here on holiday. Our home is right on the beach where we are able to take in God’s glorious creation each time we step outside the gate. My friends laugh because almost everytime I leave the gate I say, ‘oh my goodness this is real!!’ My team has several things to be thankful for this month.
I hope to use the two weeks of rest at the Christmas season as the perfect time to get my fire going where it burns constantly.
