As I sat in the chair, needle in my arm, he asked me what it meant. I struggled to explain.
Three little words – it is well – have been on my heart for years. It’s been my favorite hymn since I was just a little girl. I’ve sang the words countless times, but now, the meaning has changed for me.
As I’m thousands of miles away from my family and friends. As I haven’t seen them for 4 months and won’t for another 7.
I’ve had to learn what it really means for it to be well with my soul.
Since leaving home in January many things have happened. Some expected, some not.
My dad had surgery for the first time.
My grandmother got very sick and it wasn’t certain whether she would make it.
My Pa turned 80 and had a big birthday party.
I began a relationship with a guy that I won’t see again until we have been dating for 9 months.
My best friend got pregnant. And then miscarried weeks later.
My cousin’s appendix ruptured on the way to emergency surgery.
All these things happened and I wasn’t there.
And each time I ask myself – Why?
Here I am, doing this good thing, yet God still allows me to suffer – Why?
“For this is a gracious thing, when, mindful of God, one endures sorrows while suffering unjustly. For what credit is it if, when you sin and are beaten for it, you endure? But if when you do good and suffer for it you endure, this is a gracious thing in the sight of God. For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you…Therefore let those who suffer according to God’s will entrust their souls to a faithful Creator while doing good.”
(1 Peter 2:19-21, 4:19)
Why?
Because it’s what Jesus did on the cross. It was unjust and He did nothing to deserve it, but He endured for you and me. And because of that, it’s what He calls us to do – suffer, according to the Father’s will.
I knew when I left in January that things would happen while I was gone. Things that would make me long to be home with my family and friends. I was prepared for that.
But then they actually happened.
And as I learned to entrust my soul to the Father in the midst of these trials, the words of the song that I’ve loved for so many years finally began to ring true.
It is well with my soul
Here’s my heart, make it whole
For you I live, in You I dwell
Oh my soul, it is well
Now, every time I look at my arm I see those three little words.
And I am reminded that the God I serve is the same whether I am on the hills of Tennessee or in the valleys of the Andes mountains. My God is faithful to carry me through every bit of suffering that He sends my way.
And it is well with my soul.
