As I was reading through Matthew this morning, a few things stuck out to me. Most of all, was the story in Matthew 14:22-32. In the middle of a storm, Jesus was walking on water towards the boat where the disciples were, and they were terrified. But Peter called out to Jesus, and when he answered, he had the courage to step out of that boat and onto the water. And it wasn’t quiet, calm water like I’ve often pictured them walking on. It was in the middle of a storm! There were huge gusts of wind that brought giant waves!
The boat was being thrown around, and yet Peter stepped off the boat, into that kind of water, to walk towards Jesus. But then Peter does what only seems natural to me – he notices the storm all around him. He takes notice of the strong winds and cutting waves. I think he probably realized how impossible it was for him to be walking on water, not to mention to be out in the wide open in the middle of a bad storm. And, he starts to sink… He calls out to Jesus, who rescues him and says, “You of little faith, why did you doubt?”
Well, I’m feeling a lot like Peter right now. When I heard about the World Race, I asked God to make it clear if that was the step he wanted me to take. As illogical as it seemed to me to go now, I could tell God was calling me to step out of the boat and trust in his timing. So, I applied, was accepted, and started taking steps out into the water. But now it’s been a couple of months, and I’ve started to look around at all that is required to keep afloat. I’ve allowed myself to get overwhelmed by the amount of money I need to raise, how far out of my comfort zone I’ll be pushed, the fear of leaving my friends and family – what I’ll miss out on and the uncertainty of where I’ll be coming back to. I’ve started to doubt if I’m strong enough, brave enough, or just plain enough. I’ve allowed myself to get so distracted by the storm surrounding me that I forgot to keep my eyes on the One who called me to take this step in the first place. And just like Peter, Jesus has said to me, “You of little faith.”
The disciples had just watched as Jesus performed miracles, including feeding 5,000 people with five loaves of bread and two fish, yet it as though they still didn’t comprehend who he was. When he got on the boat with them and the winds ceased, they worshiped him saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.” Had they not realized it yet, had they not just witnessed him performing miracles? Were those miracles not enough? I think more likely, just like Peter, they got overwhelmed by the storm at hand, and forgot what Jesus was capable of and what he had already done. It is so easy to see this current storm and forget to remember the storms God has calmed in the past, and the times he has proved enough when everything seemed lost.
So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today. Matthew 6:34
So, I’m going to take each day as it comes, and bring my worries to God, trusting he is more than able. But most of all, I need to keep my eyes off the waves and focused on the One who has pulled me up from the waters and has kept me from sinking into its’ depths.
