I’M HOME!
It’s been a little over a month now since I’ve been back in America. A lot of stuff has happened since I’ve been home like my grandfather going to live with Jesus, traveling and being with family, getting acclimated to working again, visiting with friends/supporters from all over the country, and adjusting back into an everyday American lifestyle. With all that being said, I finally am posting my last blog of the Race. You all asked me questions and I have answered them for you. Hope you enjoy!
Thank you all so much for being part of my Race. Whether you prayed for my squad and I, contributed money, or followed along via social media, I could not have done any of it without you. You all have been a blessing to me and I’m so very thankful for all the generosity and love and support each one of you have shown throughout this journey.
1. What’s been your favorite meal?
It’s a tie between okonomiyaki, a Japanese cabbage pancake, and Indian curry and rice with a side of curd to tone down the spiciness.
2. What’s the craziest thing you’ve seen?
A lot of moments that I have thought, “Wow, this is crazy. This is really happening” has been in the everyday mundane. You see these things all the time but it becomes such a norm to you while living in Asia, but sometimes you take a step back and it hits you: these things are NOT something you’d see back in America. Things like children and adults caring machetes everyone, with no questions asked. You see families of sometimes five or six on the back of one motor bike, along with their pet goat. Going to the pharmacy for sinus infection medicine (which was a common for me) without a medication was no problem! You can get the medication by telling them what you need, and sometimes for under $10!
3. What’s been the worst and best country?
The country I enjoyed the least was Vietnam. It was a month of so much spiritual warfare for me. Things from my past had been brought to the surface again by the Lord for me to work through. Instead of working through them however, I became very angsty and spent the whole month annoyed at everything and everyone, including God. Because of this, I had built a wall up between me and everybody else, so it was hard to relate and really care for others on a deeper level. I just did the bare minimum in ministry to get by, counting down the days until the next country. It wasn’t until the Philippines that I surrendered my problems and really began to understand why I felt so uptight and tense in Vietnam in order to begin to work through it all.
My favorite countries have been Cambodia and Indonesia, and they can be divided into favorite ministry and favorite country overall.
In Cambodia, we lived in a village about a thirty minute tuk tuk ride outside of Battambang. Our ministry for that month was working at a school where we taught English during the week and Bible on Sundays. What made that month great was the children and the staff we worked with. There was so much love and joy at that school, and you can tell the Lord’s presence was there at every moment. I’ve never met a group of harder working people than Cambodians, and even the children had a wonderful work ethic, learning English to improve their living situation as they grew older.
Indonesia has also been a favorite country. The first thing that stuck out to me about this country is the people. They are so welcoming and kind and instantly made me feel like I’ve been friends with them for years upon meeting them. Jumping into a group here has been no problem and the hospitality is beyond any I’ve witnessed before. Indonesia is also one of the most beautiful countries I’ve been to. From the tea plantations, waterfalls, mountains, and beaches, it has it all.
4. What was the one thing or situation that God put you in that was the hardest for you to face?
I’ve never considered myself to be super controlling. I know I have tendencies to want certain things my way and if I don’t get them, I will get upset for a short amount of time (spoiled problems :/ ). But coming onto the race, we have had to surrender our expectations to the Lord monthly, and dare I say daily. Letting go of my “perfect race” was hard, I wanted it to look like everyone else’s I had stalked religiously while still at home. Surrendering my future to the Lord has been an ongoing process, one I still have to die to myself every day in order to do so. The hardest part of my Race has been to push away my pride, humble myself before the Lord, and tell Him to take it all. Have all of me and do as He wishes with my every day. It’s been so challenging but it’s been an even better ride than I would have made up for myself.
5. How many times did you Poo your pants on the race??
I got really sick suddenly one day in the Philippines while I was out picking up street boys for a camp back at our ministry site. It was a close call for pooping my pants, but I made it just in time to the bathroom every time that day. 😉
6. What is the one thing about the “western” world that you have missed the most?
CHICKFILA! And having data. Sometimes you need to get a hold of someone but can’t find wifi, and that can be the most frustrating moment of your day.
7. Strangest thing you got to eat?
Unfortunately, I didn’t eat anything too strange. I was VERY close to eating a tarantula in Cambodia, but left my wallet back at the hostel so I wasn’t able to.
8. If you could go back would you have gone sooner, later, or even at all?
I’m honestly thankful I went during the time I did. I’m thankful I had peace about staying in Asia for my entire route. I went at a time when I was clinging onto hope that there was something more to life than the depression I was facing, there was more to myself than feeling like a failure for dropping out of university and not being able to make my relationship last with my then boyfriend. I was clinging onto hope that there was more to who God is than my narrow mindset of Him. Applying for the race, I was looking for answers on who I am and what my passions are, and the Lord revealed them in such perfect timing. So no, I probably wouldn’t have chosen to go sooner, or later. The Race came at just the right time.
9. What is the number one thing about yourself that has changed from this experience?
I have a better understanding of who I am, what I was created for, and who the Lord calls me to be. Something I have been struggling with for the past few years (and continue to do so daily) has been my self worth. Putting myself down is something I do on a daily basis because I never feel “enough”. Throughout this journey on the Race, I’m learning that I’ve been feeling as if I’m not enough because I’ve been putting all of myself, my identity, into things that will never fulfill and satisfy me the way the Lord can. He tells me I’m enough. He tells me I’m loved and I’m beautiful and I am strong. Who am I going to believe? Him, the one who created me in HIS PERFECT image, or the world? Also, I’ve learned that the Lord delights in me! He likes to see me love the things He loves!
10. What day was your all time low on the trip?
All time low was hands down the day I got on wifi for the first time in India after being in villages for two weeks without it and learning that my grandfather has been in the hospital with a lot of health problems. It was really hard knowing this and going back into the villages for the rest of the month, being left in the dark and not having updates on what was happening back at home. It was a true test of faith and took a lot of praying to get me through that month.
11. What are some ways that the people closest to you can love you well upon your return to the US?
Upon returning, don’t ask me how my trip was. Asking that is too broad and vague of a question for me to answer honestly. 11 months overseas cannot be summed up in a one sentence answer for you. Instead, ask me questions that will break down the trip into smaller segments, where I can process and sort out this jam packed year for you. Coming back will be hard. I may break down from reverse culture shock. I may not want to do certain things right away. I may get overwhelmed with so many options in grocery stores and restaurants. Give me time. Give me patience and grace. Let me talk through things with you but also let me sit in silence with you.
12. How will you cope trying to settle back down from when it’s done? Going from different places everyday to just back to one place?
Coping to settling back into one city will be difficult. I’m used to living a lifestyle of packing up all my possessions into a 65L backpack and moving every month, sometimes every few weeks. Along with moving so much, I’ve been living in 24/7 community since I left America. And with leaving America, you also leave Western culture. And let me tell you, Eastern culture is vastly different. Here, they drive on different sides of the roads, have different manners and greetings, and save face is a huge cultural norm for just about every country in Asia. When I get home, none of these normalities will be my reality.
13. What are your plans after you finally (try) to settle down?
Now that I’m back, I’m working two jobs and support raising once again. Why? Because in January of 2017 I’ll be moving to Indonesia! Yep, that’s right. INDONESIA. I’m excited to return to a country and its people I fell in love with to love and teach others. If you want to know more about what I’ll be doing over there, contact me! I would love to talk about it with you!!
14. When were you the most homesick?
I was definitely most homesick in India when my grandfather struck ill. I wanted nothing more than to go home and be with my family, though there wasn’t anything I could physically do to help the situation.
15. Did you ever have a moment when you were thinking, “What the heck have I gotten myself into?”
The first thing that came into my mind when reading this was when I was in China our first month. My team and I were trying to get to the Olympics stadium to walk around and explore. We spent half the day after church looking for it and ended up going to the wrong location. We ended up finding two taxis and asked them to take us back to our hotel, which they agreed to. We got in and started traveling to our destination, merging onto the interstate. A few seconds later after getting onto the interstate, our taxi driver stops the car in the middle of the interstate, gets out, goes to the other driver and starts talking to him. IN THE MIDDLE OF THE INTERSTATE. WHILE PEOPLE ARE WHIZZING FAST AROUND US. After that I knew this was nothing like America and there was no turning back.
16. What was your record for how many consecutive days you went without showering?
We were in Nepal in December, which was during the time India closed it’s borders to it’s brother state. Because of this, the whole month we didn’t have gas and barely any electricity and running water. Without gas, you couldn’t heat up your water to take warm showers in the middle of winter. And sometimes the water wouldn’t run altogether and if you were really desperate, you would take showers by pouring your bottled water all over you. That whole month, I think I only took three or four showers. It was too cold to take your clothes off. So once a week on showers!
17. How has your trip expanded your perspective of the world?
People are more lovely than social media and the news make them out to be.
There are more kind people in this world than there are evil.
People on the other side of the world are not as different from you than you think. They have the same needs for love, attention, affection. They’re starving for truth, trying to find and cling onto light in their own darkness, the same as you and I.
18. How has it changed your view of who God is?
I subconsciously put God in a box. It wasn’t until I got out of my comfort zone that I let my narrow mind get a little wider in my views of the Lord. I’ve learned so much about the Holy Spirit, about the gifts the Lord gives His children to bring glory to His name. I’ve learned the names He calls me and how to walk in them unwaveringly. In Nepal, a World Race alumni prophesied over me, saying that the Lord is going to redeem the way I see Him as the Trinity. Instead of seeing Him as the ultimate rule maker, I will view Him as a loving Father, a loyal Friend, and a Comforter. Viewing the Trinity in a different and truer light has completely changed my relationship with Him. I now can go to the Lord with large petitions, prayers, and hours of praises and thanksgivings when I used to only be able to go to Him so afraid and not understanding of His love for me.
19. How had your trip affected your faith in God and His purpose?
Controlling my life and future is something I would rather do than have God do for me. I didn’t trust He had my best interest at heart before deciding to come onto the Race. I wanted to make my own decisions and create my own fate. Once everything started going downhill during the time of applying and interviewing for the Race and later on getting accepted, I knew this journey was going to be focused on surrendering my control to the Lord. And He hasn’t shied away from revealing this lesson to me. Things on the Race hardly ever go as planned and daily surrendering your life, plans, and expectations to God has been something I have had to learn how to consciously do. As I’ve started to surrender while overseas, I’ve seen new passions flourish. I’ve seen Holy Spirit completely take over and speak through me. I’ve walked in authority and confidence rather than faking it to look like I had my mess together.
20. If you had a group of kids in front of you, what would be your advice in regards to missions?
Let down your walls. Have no expectations because they will be wrecked the first few days you get there. Step into the uncomfortable for that’s where growth comes from.
Say yes to as much as possible. The Lord will show up in your yes’s. He will use you to reach others and He will teach you more about yourself and your relationship with Him through your yes.
Be curious. Seek to understand other cultures and religions, for most of the time the two are tied together. Try different foods and explore the area you’re in. Ask locals for the best places to go and try to learn a few key phrases in their language (they really appreciate it).
I am still raising money in order to get back to Indonesia in January. Please prayerfully consider supporting me as I continue to do God’s Will for my life.
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