It’s been four months since I have last been on this blog and wrote to you. I never have the words (it feels like) to write out a full blog post about each country. So many things happen each month, but none can ever be typed out in a way to give the people we meet and the things we experience justice. I have been to India, Malaysia, Thailand, and now I’m halfway through with my month in Cambodia. The Lord has been stretching me out of my comfort zone, casting visions of new dreams and passions in my life. So to fill you in somewhat on the past three and a half months, I wrote a handful of things God has been teaching me.
- The Lord has revealed in me a passion for women. Before coming onto the Race, I would have never volunteered to work with a ministry solely for helping, loving, and empowering women. I’ve only ever cared to work with children, goofing off, playing chase, and singing catchy worship songs at a Backyard Bible School. I’ve only had the opportunity to spend two of my later months on the Race doing the latter, leaving almost every other month to devoting my time with women I would meet in each country. In Mongolia, the Lord led me to my sweet friend Z whom reminds me so much of myself that I could easily relate to her struggles and her victories. In Nepal, I made friends with a girl who knew very little English and worked at the grocery store we shopped at daily. Jesus gave me opportunities to love on her and ultimately share the Gospel with her. In Thailand I had the honor to meet N and pour out the Lord’s love on her as I would visit her in the bars and laugh for hours and listen to her life story. Empowering and loving women and showing them their identity in Christ is something I have fallen in love with doing. And through this, I have started to learn how to love myself and see myself the way Christ sees me. Without the Race, I probably never would have taken the chance to get out of my comfort zone and see myself and other women for who we really are.
- I have authority because Holy Spirit lives inside me. Coming onto the Race, I never felt that I was a strong or good enough Christian to pray powerful prayers, to command demons to flee, to use my gifts for the Lord’s glory. Since being on the Race, I found that none of what I thought is true. Rather, it’s the opposite. Because I have the Holy Spirit living inside me, I have full authority to do said things. We can do far greater things with full confidence when we realize we DO have authority!
- God wants to delight in us. I think one of the misconceptions I had about God was Him always saying “Do this, do that, yadda yadda yadda”. I never thought of God as a Father, but more of an authority figure I had to obey. When my view of Him started to change, I started to realize that He wants to see us enjoying life through the things we delight in. It’s like a father wanting to do things he knows will make his child happy and be filled with giddiness. The funnest ways to see my Father care for me is by asking Him to bring me ice cream or to let me see something cool and then hours, sometimes even minutes later, see those things happen before my eyes. He says, “I love you so much, I want to enjoy watching you enjoy the things you love.”
- My emotions are my biggest strength. This is something new I’m still learning to embrace. Growing up I’ve never been afraid to cry in front of people or show how I’m feeling but I’ve always found it to be quite annoying, as if I felt too much. Being on the Race has shown me that my emotions are a strength of mine for it helps me to easily relate to others and therefore encourage them or walk with them through hurt, sorrows, confusion, etc. EMOTIONS ARE GOOD!! They’re vulnerable and helps others to be vulnerable as well because they trust you’re not hiding how you truly feel!
- Staying present is possible! I’ve never been one to stay present. I either live way too much in the past through nostalgia or I impatiently wait for the next best thing to come right around the corner. Rarely ever do I just stop and live in the moment. The Lord has been teaching me that that’s no way to live. How can you be fully attentive to the work God has put in your path if you’re wishing your days away? How can you pour into those around you if you always have your nose in your phone or laptop? Learning how to be where your feet are planted is difficult. I still struggle with it daily. But it’s rewarding when you can wake up excitedly every morning knowing God will use you in big ways because you are right where He wants you.
These are few of the many things I’ve been learning. Some lessons and dreams I’m not quite ready to share all over social media, but in due time will they be revealed. I have three and a half more months in Asia and my heart aches knowing I’ll be coming back to the States so soon. Who would have known that a person who never had a desire for this continent would love it so much and not want to leave? Please be in prayer for my squad and I as we finish out the Race strong and also as we transition into reentry of the Western world.
Thank you for your support over the past year as I fundraised and ventured to the opposite side of the planet. You have made salvations become possible for those who did not know Jesus. You helped teach children English and Bible stories. You went to the bars to love on the women, ladyboys, and Johns working. You sat in coffee shops and had heart wrenching conversations with those who are in need of a Savior. It’s all because of you that these things were made possible. I’m forever grateful.
