I blogged about a little girl I fell in love with here in the Philippines. Whether I should pour my heart into her or whether I should play life “safe”. I decided to love with all I had, because ultimately that is what God calls us to do. In that I experienced fear of what if’s….
What if…I get hurt and my heart breaks when I leave.
What if…This little girl gets hurt by me pouring into her.
What if…She can’t handle the fact that I’m leaving, because she and I have truly connected.
I prayed about all of this and talked extensively with my team mates and people that I really respected about all of this, the answer was the same….Go ahead Kelly…pour into her, God will take care of you and her. This is a great step in healing your heart and you have love to give her…
Ok, so all of that is absolutely true except the bad part is that tomorrow I leave for Cambodia and last night she ran away. So today my world and hers don’t seem as healed and wonderful as they did a few days ago. So I have to ask myself after searching for her for countless hours in marketplaces and places around her home. Showing her picture all over, feeling emotionally and physically ill…..do I still trust that God has a purpose and a wonderful plan in all of this?
Honestly, that is the ONLY thing I can cling to right now. I KNOW that the prayers that my team mates and friends and family have been offering up for her WILL be answered. Would I love them to be answered by 5am. OF COURSE!! I would love nothing more, than to say goodbye knowing that this sweet little girl is safe with people who I know love and care for her. Is that the will of God? We’ll have to see. I am seeking His WILL, not mine, it’s only my selfishness that would like to say goodbye to her. But I know in my heart He is protecting her WHEREVER she is….and HIS will be done, and the Glory will be HIS! I will continue to pray and patiently wait on HIM. I will TRUST Him with ALL my heart that in HIS time He will grant the desires of my heart. Please continue to pray for her safety til she is home.
