Silence has been a topic that has been on my mind for about the past month. At debrief last month, I was challenged by Kylie, my squad leader, to take 8 minutes of silence each day. This means total, utter, complete silence: no music, no reading, no lists, no plans. Just being silent in God’s creation. Some of you may be thinking that sounds pretty easy. For me, it scared me half to death. See, all my life, I’ve been the loud one. You know when I enter a room. I make my presence known either through words or my actions all of which are loud and dominating. I strongly dislike silence. It’s uncomfortable, scary, intimidating, and deafening. Needless to say, I asked my teammates to hold me accountable and I did well for about a week. It was very easy let the challenge fall by the waste side. I justified it by saying that I spent time with the Lord in silence during Scripture study or sitting outside in the rocking chairs with music. I wasn’t speaking so that meant I was being silent in my mind.
Some of my squad mates took a day of silence last month and I thought it was awesome… for them. Not for me. No way could I do a whole day of silence when I couldn’t even master 8 minutes. Then the Lord started to say some things. Constantly in my prayers and Scripture study, I heard repetitive words such as silence, stillness, quiet, taming, and listening. I thought “Oh great, the Lord is going to call me to a day of silence as well.” But that’s not quite how it happened. Instead, I felt the Lord calling me into a month of being quiet. I shared with my team about how I felt the Lord telling me to sit back, observe, say less and create space for Him to work. So I started being quiet. Not that I wouldn’t say anything but I took the verse in James very seriously that says, “Everybody should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry”. Its been almost 2 weeks since we have been in Honduras so I wanted to share a little about what I have learned in being quiet.
- I prayed that the Lord would provide a space in our next location in Honduras that would be conducive to being silent. He not only provided but also handed me the space on a silver platter. No wifi, in the mountains, closest city is 30-45 min away, and more downtime outside of ministry than we have had in the last 2 months. When you ask, God provides.
- I have learned that I hide behind my big, loud personality because it’s easier to not be hurt by others. When you can dominate a room or conversation, it gives people less time to see who you truly are behind the façade.
- I learned that I liked the attention from others and that I would seek it out to affirm who I am.
- When you say less, people listen more when you actually do speak. My words are more valuable because there are less of them.
- I realize that it truly is rewiring your brain to be slow to speak. Just after a few weeks, I catch myself asking these questions before I say something. “Are these words from the Lord? What is to be gained by these words? Do they hold value or am I just filling stale space? Are they of love and truth?”
- There is still very much an ability to lead in silence. When you lead without words, people pay more attention.
- The Lord works and moves in the silence. He speaks louder than ever and you are actually able to hear him because you aren’t filling the space with your own voice.
- Silence refreshes the soul. It’s a place where you can actually rest from the world and remember that you are a child of the King. It’s a time to bask in the presence of our Lord with no expectations, no plans, no distractions and just be.
“The quiet words of the wise are more to be heeded than the shouts of a ruler of fools.” Ecclesiastes 9:17
“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” 1 Peter 3:3-4
Stay tuned to the end of the month because I will be posting 11 things that I learned from my time here in Central America! We will be traveling to Asia on December 5th so please pray for safety, smooth travel, and patience with customs!
