I sit here at the kitchen table in my parent’s house in Zionsville overwhelmed and unable to express my emotions regarding an amazing thing that happened last night…
I reached my fundraising goal of $10,000 last night!
Let me step back a bit and let you all know where my state of mind was last week. As the days wind down here in the States, I am having trouble processing that this is really becoming real. That in 25 days I am going to head to Atlanta and leave my family, my friends, my dog, and everything that I have known for 26 years behind. I’m not really sure where to even start grieving for these losses. (P.S. one of the greatest things I learned at training camp was that it was ok to grieve these losses; it’s normal) I knew that I had this fundraising deadline approaching and a part of me was thinking “That’s ok if I don’t make the goal because then I won’t have to do this. I can just stay home and go find a job and carry out God’s will that way.” It would be God’s way of saying that it’s alright if you stay behind and remain comfortable. God is a pretty funny guy. I’m actually laughing right now thinking about how the events unfolded over the last few days. Just when the Enemy thought that he was going to use doubt and discouragement to get me to not go this next year, God was up there chuckling to himself, watching me start to doubt His calling, then said “Watch this” and threw amazing people in my path.
Those amazing people were you all. My friends, my encouragers, my supporters. You who donated $11.00 yesterday on the 11th or came out to Roselli’s to have pizza for my fundraiser. Both were HUGE successes! You who bought bracelets or a T-shirt. You who generously and unexpectedly donated to my Fund.
Sit back and think for a moment. Each of you have made a difference in my life. You have played a part in this beautiful transformation that is just beginning and will continue throughout the year. You are going to make a difference in someone else’s life. Some child, infant, woman, man, pastor, organization, or host family is going to be affected by your donation. Isn’t that crazy to think about?? Some of you may have just donated $11.00 so that you would stop seeing your FB newsfeed be flooded with my announcements (sorry ’bout that!). Some of you intentionally gave knowing this would make a difference. Some of you don’t know why you donated. No matter why you gave, remember that you made a difference. You are helping to change this world for the better. Whether you meant to or not, you decided to join me on this journey and stand behind me while I go out to do the work of the Lord.
So this blog post is for you all.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Those words seem so minimal in comparison to the love and gratitude I feel about each one of you. It has brought me to tears thinking about it. Whether you meant to or not, you have replenished my soul with hope and determination to see this through. You have brought me to my knees in gratitude. This is what support and community means. Just when I begin to think that this is not for me or I can’t do this, Our Father brings you into my life to grab me by the arms, pick me up, dust me off, whisper sweet words of encouragement in my ear, and send me on my way reminding me that I am not alone. Thank you for allowing the Lord to use you as a vessel to show me His steadfast love and faithfulness. I’m not sure I will ever be able to express how I feel but I hope you get a small glimpse into how grateful I truly am.
Fundraising has been one of the biggest test’s of my faith so far. It is an uphill battle of emotions with good and bad days. It is waking up each day and putting your faith in the Lord that He will provide. It is a struggle to be bold and ask for others to blindly support me. It is a land of unknown results. But it has also been a beautiful process to watch unfold. As I look back, there has not been a time that He has not provided even in my biggest moments of doubt and fear. He has shown me that He will never let me fall or leave me even when I think I don’t deserve to have Him near. His track record is 100% so far but for some reason I still find myself doubting His faithfulness. Human nature, I guess. I am learning to trust him more and more as well as know that He will always provide for me. No matter what troubles or hardships are put in my path, my trust in Him will remain steadfast. This my calling, my path, my future, my race. There is this beautiful song that I want to leave you all with by All Sons and Daughters called “Called Me Higher” (Click for video, lyrics below)
“I could just sit, I could just sit and wait for all Your goodness, Hope to feel Your presence; And I could just stay, I could just stay right where I am and hope to feel You, Hope to feel something again.
And I could hold on, I could hold on to who I am and never let You change me from the inside; And I could be safe, I could be safe here in Your arms and never leave home, never let these walls down.
But You have called me higher, You have called me deeper, and I will go where You will lead me Lord; You have called me higher, You have called me deeper, and I will go where you lead me Lord; Where you lead me, Where you lead me Lord.
And I will be Yours, I will be Yours for all my life; So let Your mercy light the path before me.”
