Well I got back from training camp a week ago. Over the past week, I have been mulling over writing this post. I can’t quite seem to figure out how to compress one of the most influential weeks of my life into a blog. Let me start out by saying that Training Camp was nothing like I expected; not in a bad way but in the most amazing way possible. It took my expectations that I had formed from other people and blew them out of the water. I only hope that I can convey half of the passion that I experienced at camp in this blog.
10 Days in the Georgia Heat. 10 Days sweating 24/7 except for the 5 minute relief from a 5 gallon bucket shower with freezing cold water. 10 Days with bugs/mosquitos/wasps/spiders. 10 Days of being hungry pretty much all the time. 10 Days of packing and unpacking with more packing and unpacking. 10 Days of physical challenges that surpassed what I thought were my physical limits. 10 Days of being uncomfortable pretty much every moment. 10 Days of pure and raw community with complete strangers. 10 Days with MY X-SQUAD! 10 Days of being painfully vulnerable with said X-Squad. 10 Days of breaking down every layer of myself until all that was left was my core, true self. 10 Days of experiencing Jesus in every tear, laugh, cry, and frustrating moment. 10 Days of passionately worshiping my Lord and Savior. 10 Days of feeling loved by Him every moment of every day. 10 Days of pouring that love into others while they poured into me. 10 Days of knowing and believing 100% that I am meant for this Race and that I am a beloved daughter of the Almighty King!
All of that, in 10 days….. How is it possible??
It’s possible because of Jesus. He was there in the midst of all of those 200 souls . He was in every ray of sunshine and hiss of the cicadas. I felt Him, I heard Him, I saw Him in my squad mates eyes and actions. I saw Him heal, redeem, strengthen, love and fight for each one of our hearts. Amongst all the hurt, pain and brokenness, Jesus was there. Even in our most vulnerable moments where we admitted our deepest shame, He was there, holding our hand and reminding us that we are His children. He proved to us each day that He is a good, good Father and that we are loved by Him.
Jesus and I took a journey during Training Camp. He and I worked through some pretty core issues that have been affecting my relationship with Him. He taught me so much about life and myself. Here a few monumental take-a-ways from those 10 days.
1. Surrendering is necessary
I went into training camp thinking that I had surrendered my life to the Lord. I felt that because I had surrendered the parts of myself that I didn’t mind giving up that that was enough for Him. Eh try again. This journey is about surrendering your ENTIRE life, not just the parts that you are ok with relinquishing control of. Surrendering is not easy. It hurts. It is painful. It is uncomfortable. God took me to layers of my soul that I thought I could forget or hide from Him. He showed me that until I surrender my control over protecting these layers of past hurts & pains that He wouldn’t be able to truly inhabit my soul. In his book, Kingdom Journeys, Seth Barnes writes “You can’t be remade until you first allow yourself to be unmade.”. Until you can humbly surrender to the Lord every part of your life, He can’t begin to rebuild you into a His wondrous work of art.
2. In the most uncomfortable moments, you will find comfort.
Here is what I have learned about the difficulty with being comfortable and seeking a deeper relationship with the Lord. When you are comfortable, you can put your dependence elsewhere instead of within the Lord. When you have comfort, you have control. As humans, we have a natural instinct to rely on our skills to get us through difficult, uncomfortable situations. But what happens when those comforts are taken away? Where do you put your trust? Who/What do you have left to depend on? Listen, I was uncomfortable for 10 days. Like truly uncomfortable. I have committed my life to being uncomfortable for the next 11 months. What’s funny is that I am so looking forward to the discomfort. I believe that through the discomfort, I will have finally made space for Jesus. Through Him I will find peace and comfort instead of in the world. Again, Seth Barnes says it perfectly in Kingdom Journeys, “Away from the familiar, our hearts become a place where God can work, a place where only faith will sustain us.”
3. Real passion isn’t just for the movies.
Passion. What a word. I don’t think that at my young age of 26 that I had ever really experienced TRUE passion. Yes, I was passionate about a job, or a hobby, or a topic for a short time but it never lasted. Enter Training Camp! God awakened my mind, heart, and soul to a life of passion. To a deep, fervent passion. A passion that is defined by the search for my Abba. I have this deep desire to know Him on the most intimate of levels. A desire for Him to encompass every part of my being. I long for the moment where His thoughts are my thoughts, His words are my words, and His actions are my actions. I have this passion to share with others my story about how I came to know myself and see myself as a Daughter of the King. As I passionately seek my Papa, I want others to do the same. I want to share my passion with others. I want us all to come together as one passionate community on a quest to delve deeper in our relationships with the Lord. Can you imagine a world where every being lives a passionate life searching for our Savior??
There is so much more that I wish I could say. I am still processing everything that happened at Training Camp. One question that I have gotten a lot is “So has Training Camp changed your mind about going on this Race? Are you more afraid to leave?” I can answer that one without a shadow of a doubt. Not only did Training Camp NOT change my mind, it 100% solidified my decision. I know, with my entire being to the inner core of the deepest part of my soul, that the World Race is what was meant for me. God has revealed more and more to me about why is sending me down this path. He has provided affirmation in every moment of doubt. I truly have insurmountable peace about leaving. Of course, I am heartbroken about leaving my family, friends, and puppy but I can’t imagine being anywhere else. It is the most amazing feeling!!
Well, I hope that you got a small insight into what World Race Training Camp was like. I wish that each one of you could have been there to experience it alongside with me. I’m sure that I will be posting follow up blogs with even more revelations as the days to launch draw nearer.
With that being said, we are 44 Days from Launch!!
I am leaving for Launch on September 5th and then will head out to Costa Rica the next week. My parents and siblings will be traveling to launch with me. Please pray for our time together. I know that my departure is as difficult for them as it is for me. Pray that God envelops them in His love and comfort during those final goodbyes. That they will lean on Him when they need that extra strength to head back to Indy.
Please pray for my team. I get the privilege to do life with 6 other amazing women. Pray for Liz, our team leader. She is a wise, gentle soul who has the innate ability to lead. Pray for my other team members Elizabeth, Adrienne, Emily, Brittany, and Marybeth. Pray for my squad. We are an extremely dangerous bunch to the Enemy right now and he is using every tool in his box to tear us down and instill fear, doubt, and distraction within us! We are God’s beloved children and no enemy stands a chance against that truth!
Fundraising Update: I have currently raised $8,606.00 which means I am officially over 50% funded!! Praise the Lord for He is always good and faithful! With that being said, I need to raise another $1,394.00 to reach my next fundraising goal by August 21st. I am currently selling Tshirts which you can pre-order via a google doc here: http://goo.gl/forms/AAa94Aee0K If you are in Indy, be on the lookout for a dine and donate night in August at a local restaurant! If you would like to support me financially via check or credit card, go to the top of this blog and click the “Support Me” tab. All donations are tax deductible and very much appreciated! I could not be embarking on this journey without each one of you! I thank you all to the ends of the earth for you support, love and encouragement through this process!
