I’ve sat down at my computer and stared at this blank screen multiple times this week trying to write an update on fundraising and the crazy way that Jesus provided for me this week. However, each time I’ve tried writing I just sit here without words, still speechless and shocked.
I mean, I really shouldn’t be surprised that Jesus is doing exactly what he said he would and taking care of my financial needs for World Race. Yet, here I sit, without words, in awe of God’s grace again.
I spent all day Tuesday coming to terms with the probability of not leaving for the race until July. Trying to make peace with the unknown. The unknown of what my life would look like if I stayed another 6 months. What would a new route and squad be like? If I waited to go would I be ok with the fact that I would more than likely miss two of my very best friends weddings? Would I be willing to give that up if Jesus was telling me to wait?
I wrestled with it, a constant back and forth. After talking with friends and praying a lot about it I was finally at a place of peace, whether I was to leave in January or July it would be ok either way. I trusted that Jesus had what would be best at heart. As I went to bed, I asked Jesus to make his plan for me leaving extremely clear.
The next morning when I went to log into my support account there were some new donations so I scrolled down to see them.
All the air got knocked out of me in that instant. Then I was laughing and sobbing all at once.
Jesus dropped over $4000 in my account overnight. Over a thousand past what I needed to meet my current financial deadline.
As I’m sitting there in shock the little boys I take care of were looking at me like I had completely lost every ounce of my sanity. Benjamin was sitting in his high chair staring at me, mouth open, wide eyed, unsure if he should cry or ignore my craziness. William and Andrew who had walked into the kitchen to see what the noises I was making were looked at me, then looked at each other, then slowly backed out of the room.
I called my friend Briana. It took me several tries to get actual words to form to tell her about it. I was a mumbling mess.
I stared at my donation page for the longest time, convinced I was seeing things and that if I blinked that it would disappear. There staring back at me was an anonymous donation of $3800, several more anonymous donations of a couple hundred each, and donations from friends and squad mates. All those adding up to $4735.
What in the world??
I still can’t wrap my mind around it fully.
To the people who donated, I can’t thank you enough. Thank you for your willingness to be a part of Jesus providing for me. To the anonymous donors, thank you for letting Jesus take all the glory for your donations, although I seriously wish I could just give you a huge hug and write you a letter to tell you just how much you mean to me.
Y’all I’m still so blown away by it all.
Jesus never ceases to leave me utterly in awe of his love.
I am loved by him more than I could have ever dared to hope.
Its still so surreal that I get to go and share with people far and near that that same unfathomable love is for them too.
Thanks Jesus.
You’re a good, good father, its who you are, and I am loved by you, its who I am.
