“Word of God Speak… I am finding myself at a loss for words… the last thing I need is to be heard, but to hear what you would say. Word of God speak, would you pour down like rain, washing my eyes to see, your majesty. To be still and know that you are in this place. Let me stay and rest in your holiness. Word of God Speak! All that I need is to be with you and in the quietness hear your voice.” – Kutless
Lord, break my heart… give me your heart. Renew me, make me a new creation in you. Not just humility of mouth, that is more “good” flesh.. but true Humility of Spirit. Lord, open my heart, make me transparent.
Yes, Jesus, speak to me. Jesus come. Jesus draw near to me. I WANT to just rest at your feet! All I need is to be with you, in the quiet hear your voice!!!! I want to die to flesh, I want to be Christ with skin on.. I want all of it. Jesus, I am here, count me in… have your way with me.
Dear prayer partners… please continue to cover me and the entire World Race in prayer. The Lord is speaking directly to my heart this week. I have been asking for humility, surrender, to learn to submit to authority, to have a transparent heart. As I shared with a friend, he pointed out the pitfall of walking in “good flesh.” As he put it… Your strength + good flesh + some appropriate scriptures = and you may “feel” like your walking in the spirit but is still good ol’ Flesh Power.
BRILLIANT!!!
I have caught myself this week, surrendering with my mouth, and then stomping my feet like a child throwing a tantrum in the background. I have caught myself nodding in agreement with my leadership, then quickly walking away and condemning, judging, and plain old rebelling with my heart. I am constantly concerned with what others think of me, plagued by insecurities. Before I had to be center stage. I was despirate for validation, to be noticed, to be needed. Today, I have swung the pendulum. I often retreat to the background.
There are moments where I am truly seeking intimacy with God. And I praise God for the work he is continuing to do in me. However, many times, I am still operating in, or being operated by, flesh. My silence is not yet a product of true humility, but rather more flesh, driven by the fear of NOT being humble.
GOOD FLESH… looks good on the outside… but on the inside my spirit is suffering. I am desperate to give up the control and find rest. To trust. To love. And most of all the be loved. To allow others in. I am desperate for freedom. To be free from the bonds of flesh, to live is to die.
A week ago I was afraid to die to self, to flesh… today I am afraid not too!!!
“All a man’s ways seem innocent to him, but motives are weighed by the Lord.”
Proverbs 16:2
