I know I’m a romantic. When I say romantic, I’m not meaning the man/woman romance (although I am that too). I mean, that I view life as one gigantic romantic adventure. I day dream constantly and always have this over the top view of how life will go.
Before I left on the World Race I was in this amazing romantic haze of what my life was going to look like. And when I look back on my Facebook Status’s or Instagram photos I even paint my life as one big romantic adventure. Instagram especially can take the funkiest looking place/meal/mode of transportation and make it look right out of a fairy tale.
After talking to some of my squad mates, we all laugh about how far from reality our romantic views of what we thought our lives would look like actually are. Before the Race I painted so many pictures of what life would look like out here on the field. Here is a couple of some of the romantic ideas versus the reality of life.
Romantic notion– I love my backpack, every time I look upon it means that I get to have an adventure. It’s full of only the things necessary to live a life of abandonment and I will look oh so stunning and graceful whenever I wear it.
Reality-When I look upon my backpack I just wish I could invent a levitation device so that it will carry itself. Grace when out the door whenever I first tried to swing it up upon my back. People need to be far out of the way when I try and haul that thing up. Yes I have knocked people over with it and yes, I have been knocked over by others.
Romantic notion– I am a real life missionary now! I will read my bible and journal everyday. I will spring from my mattress pad/tent and engross myself with every opportunity to serve and do it joyfully and never ever will I complain. I will speak boldly of the gospel and will want to snuggle every child I encounter.
Reality– Yes, my title my be missionary, but in reality I’m only in a country for a month serving alongside the people who do this EVERYDAY. I’m more of a missionary’s assistant. There are days when I want to curse my mattress pad and often times I glare at my journal. Times when we’ll be sitting on the hot dirt floor and instead of being grateful, all that we’ll be talking about is the comforts of home, (couches, hot showers, AC, carpet, Chipotle…) Going to ministry everyday is a choice I have to make. I need to pray for the strength and the Fathers heart to love the children in front of me.
Romantic notion– I love to travel, bring on days at a time on the bus. It will be such an adventure to jet set across the globe. Oh the glories of public transportation, I will speak to everyone I encounter and somehow look like a movie star as I eat my humble PB&J while sipping out of my BPA free water bottle.
Reality– Travel days are crazy. They are long and stinky. 38 hours on a bus in Africa with so much dirt flying in the windows that you look like a raccoon when you take your sunglasses off, and the smell of unwashed body EVERYWHERE take away some of the romanticism of driving along the Serengeti. Stupid PB&J, can I have a Cesar salad please.
So while the Race has been very romantic it has also been very real. Romantic in the people we meet, the places we visit and the love we share but paired with the reality of life: rats, middle of nowhere bathroom stops, 18 people crammed in a 8 passenger van, rice and beans for every meal for weeks. I wouldn’t trade any of it.
The Race has given me a very real example of God’s love for us. His love is SO romantic and grand. But often times when we feel Him the most or when He is romancing us it’s when we are at our most real points of our lives. Grief, hopelessness, fear and struggle. These are the times when God’s romance hits our reality and we are forever changed.
My romance may not look like His, but His is always better. For while I’m walking through a forest in Ukraine looking at the beauty around me I’m also walking on ground where a war was fought, where Jewish children lost their lives and where they were laid to rest in mass graves. Romance hits reality everyday, not just while I’m on the Race but at home too.
Thank you for coming on this adventure with me. I’m sorry if my romantic heart has gotten in the way of me sharing some very real moments this year. Because everyone deserves both the reality and the romance.
