March 6, 2012
I had a dream last night.
The Lord was hardcore speaking to me through it.
In it, I was called to preach at a specific event. I remember feeling what I would feel like if
that were to happen at any normal moment, nervous and not the most
excited. But I went up. I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to talk
about, but when I got up there, I found out the topic had already been given to
me- “Moses and the sparrow�. I wasn’t
exactly sure what it meant when I got it, but the Lord led me. He brought me to Moses’ days of being a
wanderer, leading the Israelites through the desert, and how during that time,
he so closely listened and followed the Lord’s leading. It wasn’t until the end of the dream that the
“sparrow� part of the title clicked. The
Lord brought me to Matthew 6.
“Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or
store away in barns, and yet your Heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than
they? Who of you by worrying can add a single
hour to his life?� Matthew 6:26-27
Thank you Father, for giving me this dream. Through this, I also feel like You are
telling me to study Moses and His life.
I love You Lord, thank You for being so faithful and good to me.
“But Moses said to God, ‘Who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh
and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?’
And God said, ‘I will be with you.’ Exodus 3:11-12
Here am I, Lord. Send me.
March 7, 2012
I just want to be back here already. But when I think about the process of
returning to China, it makes me nervous.
I know there will probably be opposition to me going. I am prepared and willing to fight it. I will probably look like a crazy Jesus freak
to some.
Well, I am.
But, I am still Kelly.
I still love my family, my friends.
I still love my dogs.
I still love my roots of Wautoma and the crazy town that I
hold so dear to my heart, Madison.
I love laughing and being goofy.
I’m just a Jesus freak on top of all that.
I know the Lord is calling me to Haerbin, China. So I will go.
“The Lord said to him (Moses), ‘Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach
you what to say’.� Exodus 4:11-12
“By day the Lord went ahead of them in a pillar of cloud to
guide them on their way and by night in a pillar of fire to give them light, so
that they could travel by day or by night.
Neither the pillar of cloud by day nor the pillar of fire by night left
its place in front of the people.�
Exodus 13:21-22
March 8, 2012
The Israelites grumble to the Lord and He provides them with
manna…what happened to them having a thankful heart? What happened to recognizing that their
Savior has rescued them from Pharaoh’s oppression? We are such sinful people.
I see myself so much as the Israelites. I want more. And more. And more. I want to know that all of my dreams and
desires will be taken care of. I often
miss the manna that you place in front of me because I am more worried about
where the manna is going to come from tomorrow, rather than trusting in the
promise of it.
“The Israelites did as they were told, some gathered much,
some little. And when they measured it
by the omer, he who gathered much did not have too much and he who gathered
little did not have too little. Each one
gathered as much as he needed.� Exodus
16:17-18
Father, help me to be grateful for the manna (gifts and
calling) that you have given me today and give me a trusting heart that manna
(desires) will be provided for tomorrow.
I will live in the truth of today and promise of tomorrow.
March 9, 2012
The Cost of following Jesus.
“When Jesus saw the crowd around him, he gave orders to
cross to the other side of the lake.
Then a teacher of the law came to him and said, ‘Teacher, I will follow
you wherever you go’. Jesus replied, ‘Foxes
have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the son of man has no place to
lay his head’. Another disciple said to
him, ‘Lord, first let me go and bury my Father’. But Jesus told him, ‘Follow me and let the
dead bury their own dead’.� Matthew 8:
18-22
“Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground
apart from the will of your Father. And
even the very hairs on your head are numbered.
So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows�. Matthew 10:26-31
March 11, 2012
Father, please keep peace in my heart. I feel this calling; this burden you have put
upon my heart runs deep. It overwhelms
me. It excites me. It also scares me.
“Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been
pleased to give you the kingdom.� Luke
12:32
“If I were trying to
please men, I would not be a servant of God�.
Galatians 1:10
March 13, 2012
“Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road
that leads to destruction and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road
that leads to life and only a few will find it�. Matthew 7:13-14
Father, I’m so fearful.
Gosh, it is so easy for me to want the wide path, the easy path.
But.
But, all I need is You.
I keep thinking about what I am going to be “giving up� and
it scares me.
Father,
What about social work?
What about social justice? What
about marriage? What about financial
stability? What about comfort? What about being close to my family and
friends? What about appearing “normal�?
Daughter,
What about Me? What
about my promises? What about
China? What about My church here? What about the women who only feel
loneliness? What about My will? What about your prayers? What about your trust in Me? What about My love?
Trust me, little flock, for my love for you is great. Feel my peace that transcends
understanding. I know that Your perfect
love drowns out fear.
March 15, 2012
Father, I love these girls so much. I had to say goodbye to them tonight and it
was so hard. I entrust them to You. Continue to grow Lily’s heart and passion for
You. Help her to be a light for Snow and
Lucy. I love them all so incredibly
much. I pray that the next time I come
back here, we would all be able to worship You together, Father. I love You.
Amen.
March 16, 2012
Father,
It makes me so sad to leave this place. Everything about this month has been
amazing. I have loved my mini team, I
have loved the ministry, I have loved the contacts and I have loved my
girls. Everything.
It makes it hard to leave, but I also feel such peace that I
am supposed to come back.
Lord, please open doors for me to be able to come back
here. Provide peace where it is
needed. God, I am so willing to go,
please just pave the way. It scares me
to have to raise financial support again, but I trust that You will provide me
with people who believe and feel a peace in supporting me. I just trust You. I just trust You, Jesus.
“Know therefore that the Lord your God is God; he is the
faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those
who love him and keep his commands�.
Deuteronomy 7:9
—-Wow, it’s actually really scary having this available for everyone
to read. But I also want you all to see
my heart and passion in this. I do
believe the Lord has called me to China.
Right now I am praying about what it would look like to come back and
serve, possibly in the next year or two.
I can’t wait to come home and enjoy being with all of you so much, but I
also feel the immediacy of this calling.
If you all would consider praying for me in this, that would be so
appreciated. If you would like to hear
more about what I experienced or have any questions about the church in China,
please feel free to send me messages! Thanks
and sending you all so much love from across the sea!
