Luke 12:48-“From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.”
Christmas is less than two weeks away and being overseas during the holidays can make a person miss their life. Well, their old life, the life they left behind. Normal life in America means having your morning Starbucks, going to work, spending time with your friends, having the luxury of getting in your car and going wherever you please, buying cute shoes and clothes on a whim, and being able to relieve your stress and frustrations by going for a walk, going shopping, or pouring out to your friends.
When you live in a third world country, normal loses its meaning. Things become eschewed. You spend the first couple of months desperately trying to hang onto a normal, American lifestyle. You refer to home as “real life.” Bugs and dirt gross you out, language barriers become awkward moments, and cultural differences are simply, “I don’t think I’m in Kansas anymore.” But after awhile, things shift. “Real life” becomes the missionary field, and “normal” is redefined. You now have a new normal.
Normal is now…
Sleeping under a mosquito net, while cockroaches crawl all over you. You don’t squirm, you just flick them off and go back to sleep.
Holding a filthy child’s sticky hand, and not wondering where their hands have been or where you can find the nearest sink with running water.
Realizing that the shirt you are wearing has already been worn five consecutive days, by five different people.
Shaking out your clothes every morning to get all the bugs off of them.
Not being able to remember the last time you had a shower.
Walking into a room with tables and chairs and saying, “we have to get this stuff out of here, we have no where to sit.”
Seeing a man hitting himself and his wife and realizing that he is just possessed by a demon and praying for him.
Having a sunburn in December.
Knowing what true poverty and true starvation are.
Sleeping with earplugs in to drown out your roommates’ snoring, or to prevent bugs from crawling in.
Having a “private” Skype conversation with your family, while your 6 roommates are laughing and commenting on the funny things you say.
Only changing clothes when you take a shower.
Holes? Stains? Dirt? You wore it three days already? Who cares, you only have 3 shirts.
Having a crowd gather wherever you go.
The chants of “Mzungu!” (white person)
Taking any form of transportation available and fitting as many people as possible into said form of transportation.
Instead of wanting $100 to spend on a pair of shoes, wanting $100 to give to a family, knowing that it would feed them for months.
Looking into the eyes of a 4 year old child, and realizing that she is much older than you are. That she has seen more tragedy, more grief, more sickness, and more death than you have seen in your much longer life.
Pouring out your frustrations to Jesus, because most days, he is the only friend you have.
Sometimes feeling lonely and knowing that your family and friends at home won’t understand you anymore.
Spending hours a day in prayer.
Praying for a miracle and actually expecting to happen.
Sometimes I just want to be back in my old life. I want to feel clean. I want to go shopping. I want to devour a pint of ice cream with my girlfriends while watching Army Wives. I want to go for a drive in my yellow PT Cruiser. I want to decorate a Christmas tree and have a snowball fight with my best friend, Lesley’s 6 year old daughter. I want to be normal. I want to go back and live my comfortable, American life. I want to go to a church where there are pews, and screens, and a grand piano, and smoke machines; and just give money to missionaries, admiring what they do, but stating that there is no way God is calling me to THAT.
But I want this stuff MORE. I want more of Him. I want to be filled to bursting with the Holy Spirit. I want to know God intimately. I want Jesus to be my very best friend. I want to devour scripture and commit it forever to my heart. I want to be changed. I want to make little of myself but much of Him. I want all of Him. I want to hold tiny, dirty little hands, and wipe away tears. I want to love those who don’t know what true love is. That’s what I want. I don’t want glory. I don’t want to get political. I don’t want to fight the system. I just want to love. Mostly, I want to be weird, because normal is just not working for me anymore.
Galatians 2:20-“I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”
