I’m going home tomorrow,
for the first time in a year.
It’s only for a week, but still! To say I’m excited is an understatement!!
I miss going on “sister dates” with my little ham of a brother, my Navy Seal uncle who could kill any man with his bare hands yet still calls me “pumpkin”, and my wonderfully odd grandma who has spiky hair and tattoos.
I miss my little hipster church who has been my other family for the past 15 years, and everyone within it. I miss my pastor who wears yellow skinny jeans & his wonderful wife, all the kids from my Sunday School class who climbed on me like a jungle gym, and getting to share Jesus with the lost people of the capital city.
I miss the delicious sketchy Mexican restaurants with people straight from the boarder who don’t speak any English, the beautiful Willamette River that smells like poop, and rain that never seems to cease. Ever.
I also miss the gorgeous Pacific Ocean, the deep green trees, the random waterfalls, and mountains in eye-sight no matter where you are.
However, when I leave New York there are also things I’m going to miss. As much as I hate to admit it. I’ll miss the nauseating smell of cow coming from the farm next door, the cute old lady who works at the Save-A-Lot down the road, the fact that I can walk in the middle of the road at night with no fear of dying, and the friendly faces I see no matter where I go on my college campus.
I can’t even tell you how many time people ask me “aren’t you homesick?!”
My answer is usually something like “Yeah, of course I miss it. But I’m not ‘sick’.” Slightly coated in sarcasm, but totally true. I miss Oregon, but it’s not where God has me right now.
They always look puzzled, just like I’m sure you are. Allow me to explain.
The saying “home is wear the heart is” has really got me thinking. I mean, when I’m in Oregon I say “when I go back home..”, referring to NY. However, when I’m here in NY I always say “i’m going home”, referring to Oregon. So which one is it? Where is my home?
If the saying “home is where the heart is” is true, then I’ve got A LOT of homes.
My heart is in Oregon with my dad’s side of the family, Hawaii with my Mom’s side, and NY where I’ve lived on my own for the past 3 years. It’s also in Africa with all the orphaned children, China with the curious God-seeking college students, the Middle East with the women who are seen as half that of a man, and India with the many people who’ve yet to hear the name of Jesus.
Now of course when I use the word “home” in a conversation, I’m typically talking about Oregon. It’s where I was born & raised. Where I went to school, learned about life, and found the Lord. But I really believe that was my home for a time, and I’m going to find myself in many “homes” throughout my life.
When I first moved to NY back in 2011, God clearly brought me to the story of the rich young ruler in Mark 10:17-27:
As Jesus started on his way, a man ran up to him and fell on his knees before him. “Good teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?”
“Why do you call me good?” Jesus answered. “No one is good—except God alone. You know the commandments: ‘You shall not murder, you shall not commit adultery, you shall not steal, you shall not give false testimony, you shall not defraud, honor your father and mother.’
“Teacher,” he declared, “all these I have kept since I was a boy.” Jesus looked at him and loved him. “One thing you lack,” he said. “Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”
At this the man’s face fell. He went away sad, because he had great wealth.
God clearly spoke to me in September 2011, to sell my possessions and follow him completely. Now, that was scary (I’ll explain that in another blog though).
Now that I’m not bogged down to any particular location, I am free to move about and make literally anywhere my home. Don’t get me wrong, someday I want to get married to the most handsome man in the world (and he will be, because he’ll be my husband!), have the cutest little babies ever, and settle wherever God leads us. However, I have no idea where that will be. It could be in a mud hut with Africans, an apartment in Manhattan, a treehouse in the jungle of Indonesia, or perhaps an igloo in Antarctica. I’ve got no clue. But my heart will be there, so it’ll be home for as long as God wants us there.
For 11 months while I’m on the World Race, I’ll make my home in 11 different countries. My heart will be all over the world, making relationships with many different people. I’ll be living out of a backpack, carrying my house (tent) on my back. Might not sound fun to you, but it’s sounds perfect to me. All because that’s where God’s placed my heart for now, so it’s my home.
Home is where the heart is.
My home is wherever God leads me.
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