The Lord is really weeding my heart these days. We seem to have fallen into this pattern. He nudges my heart showing me something I need to surrender to Him. I take a look and decide that, yes, He is right. I do need to surrender it. Then we enter the substitution phase. I think of something really similar to what He wants me to surrender and offer Him that. What? That’s not what You want? Ok. How about the “tip of the iceburg” phase. Or to continue with the weeding metaphor, the “what grows above ground” phase. I chop the weed off at the ground and offer Him that. What, that’s not enough either? Nope. He wants to dig deep, pulling up soil, cutting this weed off at the root.
Do you know how painful that is?
I used to have a plantar’s wart on my foot. Those are the ones that grow inward instead of outward. I’d do “surgery” on it every couple of days, cutting as much off the top as I could and digging as deep as the pain and blood would allow me to go. (Do you know how much the bottom of your foot can bleed??) And while the visible signs of the wart may have gone away for a few days, it would come back eventually, bigger and nastier, more painful and annoying. With every step I took, I could feel that stupid thing being pressed in a little deeper. Finally, I coughed up some cash and went to the doctor where he had special tools and anesthetic so he could dig that thing out relatively pain free.
Unfortunately, God doesn’t usually use anesthetic. I’m pretty sure that’s because sometimes we need to feel the pain. We need to be aware of the surgery He’s doing on our hearts. And we have to be willing to let go of the weeds and warts. Sorry this is a little bit gross. But the truth is that what God is doing in my heart isn’t exactly pretty. It’s good, but it’s darn messy and hurts like the dickens and there’s no use sugar coating it. Actually, it’s a lot messier than digging out a wart. Because while it is definitely uncomfortable, a wart is, at it’s worst, just really irritating. And the things the Lord is digging out of my heart are not just irritating, they are killing me. So instead of just digging them out, the Lord wants to kill them. And that’s what I am doing. Dying. Dying so I can live. Dying so He can live through me.
Be sure to check out A Little Digging pt. 2 for the rest of the story.
