Peaching = Identifying
If you haven’t read the beginning of this series, start with Part 1, which set me up with the Lord challenging me during this past lent season to see myself how He sees me, and then scadoodle on to Part 2 where He told me to climb a mountain and He met me at the top before coming down to a peach tree where He taught me where to find my identity!
One of the most beautiful aspects about Lesotho were the peach trees for days all around the Valley. So in hopes of staying somewhat hydrated (I was desperate at this point), I ate about five peaches in my four-hour trek.
I would have eaten more if I was not so concerned about them being peaches, a fruit that would go straight through me, and not having a long drop in sight. But that is a whole other issue we do not need to get into.
With each tree I came across to pick that delicious juicy fruit, I became more and more frustrated. Exhausted at this point, I went for the peaches I could reach with minimum effort. These were the ones on the low hanging branches or ones already on the ground. Of course though, all of them had holes in them or were bruised or just all around rotten.
But then I looked up in a tree and found the Holy Grail of perfect looking peaches on the highest branches. I had just climbed a mountain, so why not climb a peach tree.
So up I went.
Thankful for the incredibly long arms the Lord gave me because the best peaches were the hardest to reach. As I precariously balanced both feet on branches extending out in opposite directions from the trunk, and I expended my wingspan to its full potential, reaching for one of the good ones, the Lord gave me what I had been asking for all month.
He gave me a tangible way to understand how He views me that I could not misconstrue the meaning of.
Right before my fingertips brushed the fuzzy surface of the peach and enclosed around the fruit, He very clearly reminded me, “You are top tree peach.”
Now I know this might sound a little obscure, but let me explain…
In college I was in a sorority. I have most of my favorite moments and a lot of really incredible memories from those four years in TriDelt. However, at the same time I have had some of the hardest and most frustrating times of my life inside that house.
So much of who I am is because of who the Lord molded me to be in that house. The confidence He built in me, the integrity and drive He instilled in me, and the many solid friends I am taking with me for a lifetime came from being a member of the Greek system.
But when I joined, I knew it was the Lord calling me to do it, because, good grief, I would not have chosen it for myself. The house was a recipe for me to constantly be playing the comparison game. My favorite past time to play when it comes to how I view my body, the boys (or lack there of), my social life, and just my life in general.
It was during a low point when a sorority sister of mine stopped me and first told me about where I stood in the hierarchy of the fruit tree system. She told me that in comparing myself to everyone around me I was lowering the value the Lord put on the original.
Anyone could come by and grab a piece of fruit up off of the ground or pluck one on a low hanging branch. The ones who make the effort and spend the methodical and intentional time to climb up in the tree are not going to come nearly as often. But when they do, man, are they going to be worth waiting and thriving up at the top of that tree for.
Those who climb to the top are not looking for a second hand copy of a fruit they passed down on a lower branch. They come searching for the unique masterpiece of the perfectly put together and unmarked fruit in the highest branches. There is not desire or expectation in them for you to be any different than who you are, because that is who they came looking for.
So as I unsteadily stood in the tree that balmy afternoon, I saw the meat of what the Lord wanted to teach me in this past lent season. In that moment, He very clearly told me, “You are not a low hanging fruit, so stop acting like you are. You are a top tree fruit as my daughter so let me love you and treat you like it.”
Well, alright, Jesus.
PC: AnnaKate Auten
At the beginning of the lent season, I did not understand the tears that were constantly welling up and pouring down my cheeks. I knew this was going to be a pruning season, yes, but why did it have to be so painful?
I guess this is what happens when the Lord peels layers and layers of carefully placed bricks that encompassed my heart and the thoughts I had about myself.
I thought, “If only I didn’t like that boy that summer and affiliate that song with him and feelings. If only Lindsay had chosen a different song to play in the car that day, I would not have thought more into it and be in this position.”
If only…
I can sit here and play the “If” game all day, but at the end of it all, I have to sit with myself and like who is staring back at me in the mirror. And for too long I have not liked her.
Why would I like this girl? She looks at herself and focuses on the flaws. It is like she is seeking them out just to say that they are there and have something else to be insecure about. This is me. This is what I have done for far too long.
This was me.
The Lord sees none of those flaws. And He called me higher to see myself the way He sees me, past my face (that He calls beautiful) and at my heart. And do I like what I see when I focus there, where He puts His focus?
I learned Jesus is not concerned with the outward, because He created it and already called it good, so He does not need to waste His time there. His main concern is our hearts.
Because as much as He loves the humans He creates, He also knows the possibility of fickleness and wickedness in their hearts. When they listen to the enemy instead of Him, He has to watch in aguish as His son or daughter chooses a life of sin rather than a life of freedom with Him.
And that’s what I had been choosing. Bondage.
I had been choosing the title of a low hanging fruit, because that is how I viewed myself. That is the identity I acted like I deserved.
PC: AnnaKate Auten
I was reminded of the story of Rahab in Joshua 2. I was struck with how she is referred to a few more times in scripture and each time her name is mentioned, it also mentions her identifier. “A prostitute named Rahab.” It is how we know her.
Scripture also shows us that she was full of faith in sparing the two Israelite spies. And as a result is mentioned as a member of the heroes of Faith in Hebrews 11, as an example of those who are justified in Christ in James 2, and listed in the lineage of Jesus Christ in Matthew 1.
In Rahab’s story I clearly see whatever label we give her, and whatever label we give ourselves, the only true name of a daughter of God is the one He Himself gives her.
Called. Faithful. Rescued. Redeemed.
This is what I long to be my identifier. I don’t know if I want the label after my name to specifically be “top tree peach”, but I want to emphasize the sentiment of it.
So how do I want to end this blog series? I want to say I will never struggle with any of this ever again and will have complete peace and rest in my heart forever on the subject. I want to say I will not falter or doubt my Father and who He calls me to be. But let’s be honest, I know I am human and know where I am weak, and so does the enemy and He wants to forever remind me of that.
However, now instead of falling pawn to his games I will choose to cling to the truths I know and who I am called to be. I will choose to press into my feelings and believe the title and identity Christ has placed in me.
I am a beautiful, whole, emotional, fierce, and passionate daughter of the almighty King of the universe. I want to shout it from a mountaintop, or even just a peach tree will do.
“We stood
Steady as the stars in the woods
So happy-hearted
And the warmth rang true inside these bones
As the old pine fell we sang
Just to bless the morning.”
Old Pine, Ben Howard
