I think I have said it everyday we have been in the Philippines.
I am melting.
Every night I look forward to just dumping bucket after bucket of water over my sweaty head before getting onto my sleeping pad. Only to wake up to the sun streaming in the window hours later with a puddle of my perspiration on my back.
I have laid countless minutes on the tile floor of the house next to the church where everyone else is staying, just trying to keep it together.
I am from Florida. This is pathetic. What is wrong with me?
Jesus replied coolly, “It’s all part of my plan. Let yourself fall apart here.”
Nope. I’m good. I am in too many pieces already from what I am doing with Lent this season, and did I mention I am melting?
But God always prevails with His way in the end with me. I should know this by now.
While running one morning I heard someone yell my name out of a convenient store window at me. It was Mrs. Ann. Sweet, precious, kind Mrs. Ann. I had met her on one of my night runs a couple weeks back when she stopped me and asked why I was there.
When I asked her if she knew what the Gospel was, she told me she was half a Christian and to tell her Bible stories. Just plain and simple honesty with where she was at.
I love how forward this country is when it comes to religion and how bold I can be with the Gospel. I have loved how often I have gotten to share so specifically why I left America for this year.
This country has allowed me to hone in on exactly what it means to be a missionary, and follow a calling the Lord has placed on my life. Because we were asked the question so many times this month as to why we left and what it means to be a missionary, I sat with the Lord and wanted to have a very specific answer as to why.
I realized simply, I left because I was loved. I am loved by Jesus in a way where it would have been ridiculous of me to not have left. Ridiculous to not want to tell other people about the same Jesus who loves me so intimately loves them in the same exact way.
And don’t even get me started on joy. Oh boy, did He tell me I left because of joy. He said to let it pour out of me and infect everyone around me whenever I speak.
In one of our classrooms after I shared with them what it means to be loved and overflowing with this joy, I had a girl boldly raise her hand. She asked me how does she get this joy.
YES, JESUS. SHE GETS IT.
I’ve come to realize all I want people who come in contact with me to know is, that they are wholly, unconditionally loved by a Father who wants to have a relationship with them, and that this joy is capable of being attained by whoever wants it in Christ.
This country is doing things to my heart. I did not even know it was capable of expanding to the depths it has to love others like it has.
And one of the people the Lord called me to love deep this month is Mrs. Ann.
When she called me over to her window that morning she told me how much she had missed me and wanted to introduce me, her American friend, to everyone who was in hearing distance. She then sat my disgustingly, sweaty self down at her table and gave me a chocolate fudge brownie and a mountain dew.
I didn’t have the heart to turn down the brownie, but there was no way I could get a mountain dew down at 8:00 AM after running four miles. So I shyly asked for a water instead. She then gave me her wifi password to call my parents and sisters so she could meet them. This woman, she just loves to love people.
This is when I finally fell apart like Jesus had asked me to at the beginning of the month. I let go of that control so He could do His work through me. I did not care that I sat in the garage next to her convenient store melting.
The people of this country are worth melting for.
Last Saturday the 38 of us put on a festival in the plaza where we performed cultural dances we had learned from the Filipino youths in the church and dramas we taught them which incorporated the Gospel. Catherine and I made fools of ourselves as we emceed the event, and we loved every minute of it.
It was a huge opportunity to have a platform to speak to hundreds of people in Bulacan about why 38 Americans had been popping up around their city for the last month.
We were missionaries who were loved by Jesus who had no desire to keep that love to ourselves. So we came to share the love and overflowing joy of Christ.
And 32 people gave their lives to Christ. 32 souls we get to rejoice with in Heaven for all eternity. AMEN, JESUS.
Also, did I mention this country’s main sport is basketball, and I have yet to see one soccer ball here? It is like a dream come true. Jesus truly knows how to romance my heart.
Every Sunday night we do basketball ministry with members of the church. So without further speculation, I may never leave this country.
