I found myself saying, “No No No No No God”.
I found Him saying, “Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Kelli”.
Ugh.
I often wonder why God put me in certain situations in my life.
I often wonder why when I say No, He says Yes.
I often wonder why when I say Yes, He says No.
I often wonder why a lot of things happen the way they do.
I guess I just often wonder, Why?
This month in Cambodia, my team and I are spreading God’s love throughout Shalom International School.
Classes begin at 7:30 am and the last one ends at 6:00 pm.
We teach English to around 200 children from ages 3 to 15 years old.
I love it.
I feel full of passion and life.
I want each one of these children to get the most out of the short time we are here.
God knew exactly what He was doing when He placed me at this school this month.
He had this plan all along, since before I was born, and I wanted to share it with you.
I have been learning lessons that I feel He wants me to share with the world.
So here you go…..
Since the race began, I have had a Yes in my heart.
Yes, I’ll go on an 11 month mission trip.
Yes, I’ll go to the bathroom on a squatty potty.
Yes, I’ll sleep on the floor every night.
Yes, I’ll not shower for a week.
Yes, I’ll fundraise $17,361.
Yes, I’ll preach at churches.
Yes, I’ll love on orphans.
Yes. Yes. Yes.
And then it happened.
It hit me hard that I have been saying No to God lately.
Not just No, but No No No No No No No.
Like a whiney 3 year old.
I might have even thrown a temper tantrum.
Ok, maybe not that bad.
I’ll leave that one for you to decide.
Anyways……
I started realizing that God gave me passions I had been saying No to.
I have been saying No to His plan.
You know those nudges?
Those nudges when you know you should be doing something, but you don’t listen.
Those nudges that seem to scream at you?
Those nudges that just don’t go away.
That’s what I’m talking about.
What would it hurt to start listening to those?
What do you have to lose?
Maybe God will start revealing His plan more clearly….
All you have to do is listen.
God is starting to show me that I have been trying to create my own plan for my future.
God is starting to show me why He put me in those situations.
God is starting to show me why He called me on this journey.
God is starting to show me His Yes.
God is starting to show me why He said No to everything I wanted to say Yes to.
God is starting to show me why things happened exactly the way they did.
Sometimes we have to say No so we can see how sweet His Yes really is.
Sometimes we have to say No and fail so He can shine His mercy and grace on us.
Sometimes we have to fall down so He can pick us back up.
So as of today…..
I decided to have a Yes in my heart.
I decided to let Him show me my passions again.
I decided His plans are far better than mine.
I have decided to not become Jonah.
I have decided it is time to stop running away from His guiding hands.
As of today, I will choose to say Yes.
The Lord knows best, that when I follow my own plan everything falls apart.
So today I am choosing to say Yes to His plan.
Today I am letting go of control.
Today I am letting Jesus lead.
Today, I choose Yes.
Join me in this prayer:
Father,
Help me to have a Yes in my heart. Guide each one of my steps so that I can grow closer to You. Show me what You want for my life. Ignite my passions and let me see them clearly. Let me burn with desire and love of You. Shine through me each and every day of my life. Take away any plans in my heart that are not Your plans. Take away any ache I have from my own plans falling through. Fill me with You Lord! I love You so much!
In Jesus’ Name,
Amen!!
Enjoy this video from a VBS at Shalom International School.
