Month 4. Wow I can’t believe I have been on the World Race for 105 days. It seems surreal to me that just 9 months ago this crazy idea popped into my head that I should apply for the World Race. I had an expectation of what life on the race would entail, but obviously God loves to blow your expectations out of the water, so we can understand that a life of expectations is not a life at all.
He also loves to teach us lessons, in the most loving way, and He has taught me a HUGE lesson. He wanted me to fully understand that the Lord of Lords wanted me to give up all of my expectations and live a life of abandon, faith, and trust. Some people might realize this in their day to day life back in the US, but for me it required Him taking me on a journey around the world for me to fully understand what this meant. He knows every hair on my head and He knew exactly what I needed to fully comprehend His love for me.
To say life on the race has been easy is a complete understatement. I have been pushed to my limits physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Here let me give you some examples:
Physically
When I first got to the village we are staying at in India, the very first night I had ED and was puking. Everywhere. I either got food poisoning or a 12 hour flu. Your guess is as good as mine. Oh yeah, we also have one squatty potty for 20 people. The squatty doesn’t have any walls. Everyone heard everything. I think God was trying to humble me. 1 point God. 0 points Kelli.
Emotionally
Adventures in Missions believes in a culture of community. Community is awesome. Community is hard. Community is every single day, 24 hours a day, with the same people. Community has changed my life for forever. Wait did I say it already, community is hard. I love my team so so so so much and we have been through A LOT together, but sometimes alone time is nice. And that is coming from an extrovert. Yep. 24 hours a day is emotionally draining sometimes.
Spiritually
There are days when I feel Jesus right next to me and there are days when I cry out to Him asking where He is. I know that the Lord never leaves me, but sometimes He seems to just be missing. I have walked through very intense spiritual warfare on this trip and I have experienced very intimate conversations with the Lord. One day I will get to a point of not being on a rollercoaster with Him. That is what I am striving after.
Sometimes I wish I could show you my day to day life on the race. 9 months ago I was showering every day, putting on makeup, curling my hair, dressing in cute clothes, drinking Starbucks, sleeping on a king-sized down bed, eating meat, driving a car, using wifi that works really well, going to work every day, working out at Orange Theory, and visiting my friends and family whenever I wanted.
But there was one thing missing.
My dependence on God. I took on that role as being my provider. I idolized money and my career. I ran away from my Father. I didn’t need Him.
Oh but did I ever.
My life did a 180 degree turn. Today I took a bucket shower, it only took me 6 days to decide I needed to. Today I wore the same clothes that I have been wearing for 5 days. Today I ate rice, lots and lots of rice, oh yeah, that was just for breakfast. Today I slept on a sleeping pad that has a hole in it (that I can’t find) so by morning I was on the ground in my tent. Today I got to use wifi to upload a blog and send a couple emails, if it works. Today we crammed 10 people into a small van and it is completely normal and has become comfortable. Today I got to visit with some new friends that live across from us and even though we had no idea what each other were saying, we laughed.
(Our “HOME” for Month 4 in India)
Some people could look at my life now and say there is no way. You might say, I couldn’t give up ____(blank)____ in my day to day life. I thought so too.
But there is one thing now that isn’t missing.
My dependence on God. He is my provider. He is calling me closer. He is telling me that I am never going to run away again. He is the only thing I need.
When I really start to think about all of this and how much my life has changed in 4 months, I am reminded about expectations. I had this idea of what my life was going to be like on the race and I was completely wrong. I didn’t expect God to show up in the ways He has. I didn’t expect to not miss the comforts of home and for my new “normal” to be comfortable. I didn’t expect so much money to come in for funding. I didn’t expect Him to want a deeper relationship with me. I didn’t expect much I guess.
I want to let you in on a secret that I learned here in India. Get rid of the word expecting and start saying believing. It seems so menial. So little. But sometimes the smallest thing can create a HUGE change. Just read about the parable of the yeast or the parable of the mustard seed.
I have stopped expecting God to show up and started believing He will show up.
Start believing that God will show up in those hard spaces. Start believing that God will provide all of your needs. Start believing in God to be your comfort when you don’t know where else to turn. Start believing in a deeper relationship with Him and that He wants a relationship with you. Start believing that He wants to show you who He really is, which is pure love. Start believing in a life of abundance in every aspect of your life.
Start believing more and stop expecting.
Maybe I’ll save you a trip around the world, sleeping in a tent, having a monkey crawl past you while reading the Word, eating rice every day, and dreaming of the day when you get to eat a medium rare steak. Or maybe you’re called to live a life of being uncomfortable for the sake of finding comfort in Him. All I know is that God wanted me to tell you this, and I have finally realized when I am obedient to Him, more blessings flow!
I’ll leave you now with a prayer.
Father,
Thank you for blowing our expectations out of the water. Thank you for showing us that you are far greater than anything we could ever fathom. Thank you for giving us something to believe in again. Thank you for giving us Your son to show us how much You really do care. Thank you for never leaving our side. Thank you for a life of abundance, especially a life of abundance in You. Father, I just ask that You will bless the person reading this abundantly. Shower them in Your love, joy, peace, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, and gentleness. God, show them who You are. Give them a vision of You Lord. I can’t thank You enough Father for all of the grace and mercy that You show us each and every day and I just ask that You call Your children deeper. Help us to let go of any expectations we have and let us fully surrender our life to You. We love You so much God. We ask this in Jesus’ precious name.
AMEN!!
FUNDRAISING UPDATE!!!
I AM ON MY FINAL PUSH TO GET FULLY FUNDED BY NOVEMBER 30TH! I AM AROUND $3,000 AWAY FROM $17,361!
WILL YOU ASK GOD IF THIS IS SOMETHING HE WANTS YOU TO SUPPORT AND IF HE SAYS YES, YOU CAN DO SO ON MY BLOG OR YOU CAN CLICK HERE FOR MY GOFUNDME PAGE
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL OF YOUR PRAYERS AND SUPPORT!
