I have wasted an unreasonable amount of time think about how I want to die. There are a few ways I think would be cool. For a long time my top choice was to go down in history like Romeo and Juliette. It would be tragically romantic; it would be epically beautiful.
I would love to share the details about my choice climactic ending of life, but I don’t want this blog to take a year to read. I shared it with some of my squad mates, but I’ve thought about how I’d like to leave this world since then. And I think I’ve changed my mind.
I don’t want a death that rivals that of Romeo and Juliette. I don’t want tragic romantics to read about my death and cry. I want a death that rivals Maximus Desimus Aurelis. I want to fight to the death with no surrender. I want to fight for a cause with such courage and intensity that the crowd’s chant is echoing around me. I want a warrior’s death.
I want to die and walk into the throne room in full armor. I want to be covered in sweat and dirt and someone else’s blood. I want my shield to be battered, and my sword to be dripping blood on the floor of the pristine room. I don’t want Jesus to say, “Well done good and faithful servant.” I want him to give me the upward head nod of approval and that be it.
I want to go out preaching the name of Jesus and cutting down his enemies. I want to die having used every last breath waging war against the devil. I want to die in the midst of combat. But I don’t want the crowd’s chants to be on earth.
I want them to be coming down from heaven. I want to be cheered on by those who came before me. I don’t want my death to be in a book of martyrs or faith heroes. I don’t want it to be memorable in the physical realm. I want to die with the name of Jesus on my lips, and I want the devil to cower in the arena like Caesar because he lost a city, or a town, or a village, or a single soul.
How do you want to die? Or more to the point, how do you want to live?
