“I don’t do well in large groups”
“I don’t like talking in front of people”
“I don’t really care to celebrate my birthday”
“Does someone else want to do the talking?”
“Do you really want me to give this presentation?”
“Did I just hear you tell the Client that I will be leading this meeting?”
“Why are there 50 people on one squad? I won’t get to know anyone”
“What am I going to do for 11 months on a team of all extroverts?”
“Can I NOT be the center of everyone’s attention????”
So before World Race Training Camp we all took the Myers Briggs personality test. Of courses I tested easily as an introvert. I’m not one to be super talkative in big groups (though some may argue this) or jump to be the first to speak. As long as I can remember, I’ve also kind of did my own thing, and tried my best to be as lowkey as possible. As I’ve gotten older, I definitely have strayed away from this….but not too much. I have my comfort zone; my core group of people that I know I can kick it with and be myself. So when the test came back as an “I”, it didn’t come as a surprise to me. It just meant that I do better in smaller groups, preferably with other introverts. As long as I was with people who were like me, I would be okay.
…..then we got put on our teams. Low and behold, I was with all extroverts (well one dude was in between but in my eyes he was one of them!) To be completely honest with you all, I had a moment of panic. I thought each person individually on my team was great, but I wasn’t sure how I would fit in “their” team. I was sure that this meant for the next year I would not be able to fully be myself.
Then God revealed to me that I was placing too much emphasis on how these tests defined me and others. I was allowing it to dictate how I viewed the relationships I could (or could not) potentially have. See, even though the test categorized me as an “introvert” that did not define me. That didn’t mean I couldn’t speak up if I had something to say. That didn’t mean I wouldn’t be able to engage with people. That didn’t mean I couldn’t have deep relationships. That didn’t mean I couldn’t be myself. So maybe I wouldn’t be the one to share my testimony with 50 people listening around a campfire, but I’ve come to realize that developing relationships with people and sharing my faith may look different for me than it would for an “extrovert”. Like spending the night in my tent or in the apartment of a squadmate. Or asking my doctor if it was okay to pray for her foot that had been in a cast for 10 of 13 months. And getting to know the gentleman sitting next to me on a plane and hearing about his life.
So even though I’m an “introvert”, this is not something to hide behind, or use as excuse for not doing certain things. I can already tell that God is going to continue to allow me to experience “growing pains” in this area.
By the way, I love my team!
