I thought I might tell you a little bit about how I got to this point in my life, it still baffles me to think about it. Two to Three years ago I would not necessarily call myself a Christian. I thought I was because I celebrated Christmas and Easter, went to church on rare occasions, was a good person… maybe some of you are in this boat and are confused about why I was not a Christian. In high school I began going to a youth group and to church more regularly, which many people would automatically make me out to be a Christian (myself included). When I went to college I began to go to a few parties here and there, but my sister would always make me feel like I was wrong. My sister was saved, like I knew what that meant, but I wanted what she had. I wasn't saved so I wasn't a Christian is what I was hearing… what have I been doing with my life that is wrong? I searched and prayed and read the Bible for about a year and when I entered into my sophomore year of college things changed. I began going to Campus Crusade for Christ, went to a Bible Study, and was given this little booklet called:
Do You Want to Know God Personally?
Well yes, yes I did. What did that even mean? I was still trying to piece together who Jesus was (since my whole life I knew him as the plastic baby who came out at Christmas). After I read this booklet I learned that we are sinful people and since we are sinful we cannot directly be with God. To bridge this gap between God and us Jesus came as a sacrifice, he (fully God and fully human) died for our sins, he sets us free, breaks our chains, washes us clean from our past and makes us blameless and pure before God! If we have faith that Jesus died for us and rose from the dead then we can now communicate directly with God, nothing is keeping us from him. What really struck me was that I had to give up the control of my life and give it to God. But what is really cool is that I now can have a personal relationship with him!!!!! Yes a relationship! God is real, he yearns for us, wants to hear from us, wants to spend time with us. And we don't have to be fancy about it, he wants you just as you are…broken, hurt, angry, happy, whatever. He loves us soooo much!
So I guess you can see why it is weird to think of how I got here because two to three years ago I was not even following the Lord. I am not even the same person I was then. So to think that some girl who didn't even grow up in the church is now going on a year long trip to serve God is quite the story!
To keep it brief I will let you know how I decided to go on this trip.
1. It was a roller coaster. My faith went through fire, but came out refined
***DO NOT RELY ON YOUR FEELINGS! They change, God does not
2. God gave me desires to travel long term. I didn't want to travel for fun though. I found that kind of pointless to do since my desires to travel were towards countries in dire need.
3. I was given desires for people, for their hearts in the broken states they were in. I kept having visions of me helping people in the streets, walking in African villages, living with the poor, etc.
4. I was given desires to live simply. I have no desire to have a lot of stuff or money. No desire for a big house or fancy car. Why do I deserve more when I could help people who have nothing?
5. I was given a desire to love people like Jesus. To share the good news about his death to those who have no hope
The next step was trying to figure out how these desires can be woven together to serve God. I was applying to the PeaceCorps, AmeriCorps, Campus Crusade for Christ's inner city ministry, and then The World Race was brought to my attention. Immediately I was intrigued by it and impulsively began applying for it. I had no idea if this is the path I should take, but I learned that God doesn't really call you places. You have to take the footsteps and he will direct your paths. So on learning that I prayed that he would close this door if he didn't want me to do it and he left it open!!!!!!
I was so happy because I had my heart set on it, like a child has their heart set on a new toy!!! Once I got accepted I really began to doubt.
Did I really want to miss all the holidays this year?
Could I live out of a backpack and be happy?
Do I want to be uncomfortable more than I am comfortable?
As you can see these are all good questions, but I remembered reading a chapter in Crazy Love by Francis Chan that said that being a Christian is about taking risks. He does not command us to be safe or comfortable. We are called to be bold, take leaps of faith, blindly follow the him, do what he says (which is to spread the name of his son and LOVE).
Now I am going. Going far out of my comfort. Far out of my safety. I am going to be serving the Lord, spreading his name, sharing his love, doing what Jesus did!
