I never realized how stressful and nerve wracking going back to middle school is.
This week we have been visiting classes of two different secondary schools (6th-12th grades) to talk about different topics all relating back to God.
Walking into our first 6th grade class of the second school I instantly had memories of my own middle school experience; unsure of who I was, awkward, and just ready for it to end.
I felt similarly when it came to talking to these kids but at the same time I wish someone would have talked to me about what we were there for, identity.
I was to share my testimony with these kids and what all did my testimony involve? Sex and Alcohol and how at one point these things were my identity. How was I suppose to share this with these kids without scarring them? When I was in 6th grade, alcohol was an unknown and sex…well it was really uncomfortable and embarrassing to talk about.
In the neighborhood that we are in, drugs, teenage pregnancy and alcoholism are huge issues. It’s hard for me to think that while I am sharing with these kids in 6th that I could be looking into the eyes of a child who is experimenting with drugs or who thinks drinking alcohol is the normal thing to do.
As I shared my testimony and finding my identity in God instead of alcohol and attention from men, I realized why we were having this conversation. These kids are trying to figure out who they are and what life is. These things that we talk about may not be a problem in their life currently but they are at such risk of experimenting and getting sucked into the norms of the community around them that my testimony could save at least one of them from getting addicted.
I know that it is not only these 6th graders that need to hear this message, but people in my life at home do as well. There is someone who is still trying to figure out the meaning to life and who they are.
When I used alcohol or attention from men to try to fill a void in my life, to make me happy, it never worked. It worked for a short time but after that, I resorted to more alcohol, more attention from men and it was never good enough to completely fill the void in my life. I always felt that there was more but struggled with finding it.
At training camp I started to see what an intimate relationship with God was. I started to focus more and more on him but continued to drink and crave attention from men. These 4 months on the race I have felt more complete than I ever have and because of what? Not the alcohol or the attention of men but of God’s unfailing love for me.
I want to end this blog with a prayer for those who have been struggling with filling the void your life. I pray that you quit numbing yourselves with whatever it may be (alcohol, sex/pornography, drugs, internet, cell phones/texting, perfecting your body image) and truly start to feel God’s love for you. It’s the same prayer that Paul wrote to Ephesus:
Ephesians 3:16-21
“I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.
Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. Glory to him in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever! Amen.” (NLT)
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