The second moment I would like to share with you happened this last Thursday. On Thursday’s we split into small groups and go to parks, the university, or the Oncology wing of the local hospital. This week I was chosen with five others to go and pray at the hospital. I didn’t think much of it till we were there and sitting in a tiny room with tables and worshiping and praying for the patients. Then it hit me I hadn’t been in a hospital since I was in there with my grandpa. I had gone up to visit my grandpa in the hospital during his battle with lung cancer a couple days before I left for training camp for the World Race. And then he passed away while I was at training camp.
Grandpa Bill and Grandma Sharon (love you both so much)
While sitting in this tiny room praying for these patients and two team members who were going room to room praying over the people, I was getting flashbacks to the time I was sitting with my family in the hospital. Instead of speaking this to my team I withdrew put my sunglasses on and cried. I didn’t want to be weak and show them I was upset and I definitely wasn’t ready to talk about it so I said nothing for the rest of the time we were in the hospital. After we were in the hospital we worshiped a little outside and I kept asking the lord for a sign or something from my grandpa. I wanted a rainbow and I wanted it badly but there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. So I continued to wrestle with my emotions until we went and grab a coke and fries at a local restaurant.
After sitting there for a few minutes I finally shared with my team that I was struggling and didn’t want them to know I had been crying. My amazing team was so encouraging and shared such great truth with me. They told me how crying wasn’t a sign of weakness and that it wasn’t my place to carry the burdens of others for them. I couldn’t carry the burden for my cousins or for my family. I knew this but it was still something I felt I needed to do. I needed to be the strong one. I had always felt like I was a strong pillar in the family relationships and that I had to be the one they came to for support and didn't show them that I was struggling just as hard. I always knew in the back of my mind that God was the only one who could really support them and be there for them, but it was like if they are not taking thier concerns to the Lord I will help them with it.
One of my teamates put it very well by telling me that instead of carrying other people's burdens I needed to help them give it to the Lord. I know there is nothing I can do for them but our heavenly Father can do great things for them. I encourage you to take this things to your daddy who loves you and wants to care for you.
all the cousins on the Loveless side
Having a team of 5 other people there with you and helping you to take things to the Lord that you are dealing with or that they see in you is a freeing thing. It is a way to really grow in the things of the Lord and be the person God has called you to be. I'm excited to see what else God wants to show me this year through my team.
I encourage each of you to find someone to speak truth into your life. Also make sure you are checking out my teamates blog's some of them have posted videos that are amazing, and others are writing about great things that are happening here in their point of view.
Love and Miss you all!
