This song has been playing in my head all day. And one thing that has hit me is so what if I stumble or fall? Who is going to be ashamed of me? The answer to that is NO ONE! No one is going to judge me because I messed up. So why do I keep telling myself that it matters so much if I make a mistake? Well that is because I let the lies from Satan get to me. I am human and I make mistakes. That is why I am going to tell you all about a bit of my testimony.
So I am 20 and am currently not in school. I was going to Ivy Tech Community College and felt that I was wasting my time in my studies. I no longer wanted to be a teacher and had no idea what I wanted to do. So this past summer I took time and started to figure out my life. So before I get to that I will tell you a bit about where I come from. I have no home town. The longest I have lived anywhere was almost 9 years. I have lived in 10 different towns. The reason I have moved so much is because my dad is a Methodist pastor. I love my family so much and wouldn't trade them for anyone. Growing up my older brother got himself into trouble a lot. So I decided I didn't want to do that, but I didn't want to have the typical PK (pastors kid) sterio type. So I was unsure of what or who I should be… Be the rebelous child everyone expected or the goody goody who never did wrong. I didn't want to be either of those, I just wanted to be me. So I started dance when I was 3 and found where I belonged. I loved it and wanted to become a professional dancer. Well my senior year of high school I was additioning for Oklahoma City University and a month before I partially tore my hamstring. Yeah, we can just say the auditions didn't go the way I wanted. I didn't get in. I had no back up for a school I wanted to go to and I started to feel a bit lost my senior year. I didn't go crazy, but I did get a bit into some parties. I never drank a ton but I did feel like I found a place I belonged besides dance. I felt like I lost who I was and didn't know where to go. I soon found that I didn't like that scene, plus I had only known these people for a year and a half, (we moved to a new town my junior year). So I still felt lost but had to go to school. So I started at a local college in Fort Wayne and it seemed good for a bit. Then I didn't feel like I was where I was supposed to be. So I took a semester off and after talking to a good friend I decided I was going on a mission trip to get away from everyone to figure out my life. So I got accepted to go to Africa for 2 months, to Kenya, Uganda, and Tanzania. Well in those 2 months I was so broken. My heart got pulled out of my chest and was given new life. I found out who I was and what God was calling me to do. I want to become a full time missionary and I am going to go to school again after I get home from the race. I learned a lot about myself and there are things I still need to work on. But one thing I have always been able to lean on since I was little is that God has me no matter what. He is always taking care of me even when I feel that I am alone. So I may not have made some of the best choices in life, but I have made the best choice I can. That is to follow the call God has for me!
