My heart is getting so restless. Well it has been since I got home from Africa. I know that God has a lot for me to do here in Fort Wayne Indiana, but I just want it to be July so I can go. I have seen some amazing things God has done for me recently, I met a wonderful nurse today who gave me the encouragement I needed. She was so excited about my trip and that excitement made me want to leave right now. I can not wait to go and help others and love on the babies and show them the Father I love. My heart gets so excited when people ask me about Africa and I get to share, but then it makes me miss it so much. I miss having life be simple. I miss seeing the joy on peoples faces for something so small. I miss just not following the crazy busy schedules we all carry. I can not wait to see how the rest of the world takes time. Will they go with the flow and not care that they are supposed to be at a place at 5 and show up at 7? or will they be strict on time and always be early? Either way I can not wait to see. I know I need to be patient and take the joys I have here. But I know that it is something I have always stuggled with. So God please give me the patience I need.
I find myself also getting restless when I look at my account and see that I haven't raised much money yet. Then I realize I haven't been accepted on the trip for very long. I only found out about 4 weeks ago that I was accepted. So really I haven't had much time to raise the money. But yet I find myself feeling like I am not trying hard enough. I can be hard on myself sometimes when I shouldn't. I am working on not doing that, but it is hard to break old habits. I need to slow down my expectations and let God lead me in the whole thing. Please pray for me as I learn to really let God lead. I thought I was letting him, but I find myself trying to take over. Thank you for the prayers.
