Is it okay if I just brag on God for a minute?
A huge obstacle that I have worked to overcome this year was a root that took hold and made me believe that everything was a competition.
I’m not even a competitive person – and yet, somehow, my Instagram photos were always comparatively artless. My job was never paying enough. My political intellect was never cultured enough. For all my efforts, my wardrobe always gravitated towards Salvation Army dumpster-chic while my friends were all Jackie O. My Pinterest wedding board didn’t have enough crap made out of wood and my life didn’t have the 24/7 awe-inspiring golden-hour glow of the lifestyles you read about in Darling magazine.
And yet, I am in the process of being SO blessed.
And I have been in this process. It just took me a few months to wake up to the wonder of it.
See, even though my fashion choices are never going to gain me respect and my life is filled with more coffee stains than perfectly cradled coffee mugs, I spent this year surrounded by people I would lay down my life for. Made friends who I can already tell will be there on the other end of the phone five years from now when I am awake at 3 am with a glass of chardonnay whining about the fact that my bathroom floor won’t tile.
My car was totaled last week, and when the insurance company called me to tell me the appraisal value of my car, it was an extra $2,500 above what I needed to pay the bank. All money I can put towards my trip.
That same week, someone went online to my support account and donated $1,000.
On top of that, my sister volunteered to let me use her car for the next six months until she can drive again with no payments.
On top of THAT, I am leaving in seven months to travel around the world with a tent, a backpack, and 65 other radical people who have hearts to seek and save the lost.
The Holy Spirit more or less slapped me down, and told me that if I can’t be happy now, I never will be. If I can’t open my eyes to the blessings that God so obviously wants to give me, I will miss the chances to give Him glory. I will miss a life full of favour because I’m too hung up on appearing perfect.
Ever since I made the decision to go on the Race, God has been speaking to me on a continual basis – so much that I started keeping track of what He’d say with the note-thing on my phone, dating them in order to help me remember what had been happening at the time I heard from Him.
In closing, I want to share them. Not because I’m great, but because God is great. Because He’s crazy about me – and because I can say that without fearing arrogance. Want to know something neat? He wants the same thing for you, too. He says so in Isaiah 18:30: “Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!”
I am wholly and dearly loved by the Maker of the galaxies, and He wants to bless me.
For 2015, I am going to adopt a posture of expectancy, and leave the comparison behind.
