Unforgiveness is a huge topic on the World Race. If you are a future World Racer reading this, get ready to talk and deal with it in full force. I am no exception.
Most people don't think they have unforgiveness in their lives until you start talking about life, and then the epiphany hits. Experiences resurface from your past which undoubtedly are affecting your present and eventually your future if not dealt with and resolved. Yes, I've had to work through my own unforgiveness from things in my past, but more recently I've been working through some unforgiveness in my family pertaining to recent events since being away on the Race. I won't get into all the details, but I was angry to say the least. It made me wish to be back home to help and be there for my family. It made me want to cut off relationships and make them know the hurt and destruction they had caused. I wished and thought terrible things and voiced them to others. I finally found a real moment to stop and think and when I did all I could think was,
THIS IS NOT WHAT CHRIST HAS CALLED ME TO.
Hands down, this is not it.
You see, forgiveness can be a tricky thing if I listen to what the world says. The world tells me that I deserve an apology before I start any kind of forgiveness in my heart. They will tell me that the person who wronged me owes me something and needs to do x, y, and z in order to earn my forgiveness. Reconciliation starts with forgiveness, not the other way around. How can I expect God to forgive me of anything if I can't or (more truthfully) won't forgive others? Forgiveness is not a can/can't thing. It's only a will/won't thing. That's what it ultimately comes down to if I get really honest with myself.
It's pride. It's selfishness. It's wanting others to do what I want or think is necessary to be forgiven. WHAT IF GOD OPERATED OUT OF THIS KIND OF CONDITIONAL FORGIVENESS? That sounds absolutely awful to think that forgiveness will only be granted after a checklist of items is completed.
We will find ourselves in the midst of terrible and unfair circumstances due to others' mistakes throughout life. It's part of this imperfect human life we are in. Unforgiveness in these things will sit like poison inside of us if we choose to not forgive and deal with it. Bitterness will take you over and leak into other areas of life, affecting you in ways you didn't think were possible.
I'm not saying any of this is easy, but it is a choice. It's a choice I have to make daily. It doesn't make sense to the world which sometimes makes it the perfect tool to share what God is doing in your heart and life. If I have an opportunity to pour life and truth from the Spirit into someone through forgiveness (whether asked for or not), I'm going to take that opportunity to put myself, my pride, and my selfish wants/needs aside and do what Christ has called me to do here on earth as one of His disciples.
I can hear your thoughts right now. You're running through all the reasons why you've held on to your unforgiveness toward someone. Why you "can't" or "shouldn't have to" forgive someone. They might even sound like good reasons. Your friends might have even agreed with you and encouraged you to hold onto those reasons. Here's the truth: THOSE ARE ALL LIES AND EXCUSES. Excuses that hold no weight when we look at the love and grace that was poured out on the cross. Lies that lessen the impact of what it meant when God sacrificed His only Son for our sakes.
And just when you think someone has done something so horrible that it is impossible to forgive them, remember it was you and it was me who nailed Christ to the cross and it was your and my sins that held Him there. Could you imagine if God put a limit on His forgiveness?
Now I'm going to say something pretty boldly, but I believe with all my heart. Forgive everyone of everything all the time. There are no limits on forgiveness. It is a true mark of a Christ follower and sets us apart. Through uncommon forgiveness we are able to point to the incomprehensible love of God being made manifest in us.
Galatians 6:1-2
"Brothers, if ANYONE is caught in ANY transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of GENTLENESS. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. BEAR one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ."
