I really thought I would hate fundraising. Every time I open my fundraising page I cry. Because this list of names of donors is growing. And seeing these names overwhelms me with this feeling of being loved and cared for.
Being taken care of is something Im kind of unfamiliar with. Im a pretty independent girl, and there have not been many times in my life where someone (other than my mom) has cared for me. In my adult life it just seems to work out best if I take care of myself. Its sort of sad and pathetic really. But this process of fundraising has really rocked me. I feel cared for by God, by people I’ve known my whole life, by people Ive only met once, even people I played volleyball with in seventh grade! It means so much to me and I am so thankful.
Im going on this trip because I want to go care for the lost, the poor, the broken, and the vulnerable. I want to give love to them out of the love God has givem me. And now, I’m finding the strength to do that through my support team. I didnt even know how much I needed them, but I do. I feel so much more equipped to do what Im called to do with the support of these people. Its partnership. People working together to care for others in the name of Jesus.
This one night in particular, in the beginning of the whole process, I was looking at the list and saw a dear friends name. I looked across the spreadsheet at her gift and….wait!!!!..was that a comma in the number?!? I was undone. It was a big gift from someone who lives very simply. A sacrifice made for me. I thought…”oh man, you can have a lot of fun with $1,000. But she gave it to me instead.” Something clicked that she was going to be a part of the whole trip, that I wanted to do this in a way that honors her gift.
That sacrifice gave new meaning to ALL the gifts I saw, whether the numbers were big or small. I saw them all as a sacrifice made for me. It changed my perspective and has caused me to take this mission even more seriously. Because these sacrifices have been made for me, I want to live differently, with more intentionality and purpose.
And each sacrifice made is a reflection of another much bigger sacrifice that was made for me. I read about it years ago in the Bible in the book of Matthew, when Jesus died on the cross, sacrificing His life for mine. I felt the same feelings of being humbled and cared for. I felt loved like never before. And that sacrifice made me want to live more intentionally and purposefully then too.
I think I did for a while, but the mundane disappointment and pain in life made me forget how cared for I really am. I forgot about the importance of the sacrifice Jesus made for me. Somewhere along the line I ‘grew up’ and thought I had to take care of myself.
But now, there is this list of names on my donor page who are taking care of me, through the leading of the Holy Spirit. They are teaching me about the meaning of partnership in ministry. They are reminding me of the beauty of a sacrifice and how it gives us purpose.
So, thank you support team for your sacrifice. I am overwhelmed at your generosity and love. I’m learning some beautiful things through your gifts. I thought I would hate fundraising, but every time I open the page I see your name and cry, feeling so well cared for.
