A week before training camp I wrote a blog on learning to lean on God and a journey he took me through humbling myself in the presence of the service of others. It was just over a month after my surgery, and God had challenged me to grow in so many ways. All of last year was a lesson of God healing my heart physically and spiritually. In that journey I gained a bonus lesson in humility.
Here is the funny part. Nine months later and I am learning this all again. It is not like starting from the beginning of a new story, but more so re-reading a book within a series before the next part of the series is released. This particular book was a glimpse into the lessons of life God brought me through.
In my first blog I wrote that I was an independent person. I still am. These past 7 months of relying on teammates – both in challenging times and with daily tasks-, relying on supporters to continue this ministry, accepting the help of our amazing brothers, and most importantly, relying on God, have been a challenge.
In Albania I was sick nearly the whole month. Whether it was a menacing cough, a sore throat, fatigue, lack of appetite (very rare for me), a migraine or the occasional moment when all would manifest at once, I generally was not feeling well. Unsung Heroes months are quite busy. Travel days, upon meeting days, upon prayer days.
Yet, after much intentional will power, I gave in and took a little time to rest, but it still was not easy.
At the beginning of Bulgaria I asked God for direction for the month and his words to me were:
“Joyful humility.”
Through the calling of the humble prophet Samuel (1 Samuel 3:16-19) and the words of James 4 declaring to “humble yourselves before the Lord,” (10) I was reminded of my independent and prideful self. It took heart surgery to break me down before the race, and it took a month of being sick while holding a leadership role to break me down on the race. God knows his children, some of us more stubborn than others, and yet, he gives grace.
“A person with godly humility looks to the master. He or she neither exalts nor denigrates self, because to do either is to make self the center of our universe. When we’re really serving Christ, our reputations and abilities simply cease to be so important. We must decrease that he may increase,” Beth Moore.
I wish to ask for you to come alongside me in prayer as I step into a new understanding of humbling myself before our Lord. I cannot do this alone, funny how hard that can be to say and truly mean. Not only to humble myself, but to be filled with joy in doing so. To see the power behind the gifts God has given me, and to use them to truly bring glory to God.
“Genuinely humble people have enormous confidence, because it rests in a great God,” Beth Moore.
I seek God’s direction, I seek a discerning ear to the Spirit, I seek confidence in who I am being defined through my creator, I seek to be in his will, but none of this is possible without humbling myself before the Lord.
