My mom once told me that she feels like when we are feeling a certain way (whether that may be sad, excited, joyful, angry, or jealous) we have, more than likely, made the Lord feel that way at one point in time.
So, this is month ten and I am tired. I am tired of moving all of the time, I am tired of meeting new people and re-investing every month, I am tired of being tired, and I am tired of being with people all of the time. Did I mention that we are at an orphanage? Being tired and working at an orphanage just doesn’t mix very well.
Every morning I teach an English class, sometimes for 5 minutes, sometimes 15, and sometimes for 25 minutes. It really depends on how long I can capture the attention of the crazy, yet adorable 10-11 year old children sitting in front of me. After this is the real challenge, what do I do for 1 ½ hours of free time? I have learned very quickly that it doesn’t take long for kids to become uninterested in what I am attempting to get them to do. By the time that I have half of the kids convinced that it is fun to sing Jesus loves me, or to play a certain game, the other half of the kids are ready for a new adventure and are stealing the attention of the kids that I thought, were devoted to singing songs and playing games.. Shesh.. Some days I persevere and continue to rally the troops, only to come back in the afternoon for two more hours of “recreational time� with the kids, other days I retire to the bench where I either sit and ponder about the fact that I am coming home soon or I am accompanied by some of the staff (older ladies) who sit with me and attempt to have a cross-cultural, and chopped up English, with a mixture of hand motions, kind of conversation.
My teammates and I were discussing our ministry tonight at team-time and we realized that this month we are getting a glimpse into the heart of God. Everyday we go to the orphanage for four hours (two in the morning and two in the afternoon). Some days you would think that we are the coolest people in the world and other days we are the kids at the middle school dance sitting next to the cool aid because nobody wants to dance with us. It is so eye opening to see that I treat God like this a lot more than I should. For a while He can keep my interest, but only if He has something new or cool to keep my focus. When I get bored of Him, I move on to cooler or more interesting things until I realize that I have lost my focus again. This is intentional or on purpose, it just kinda happens. But the cool thing is that, much like how everyday we keep going back to the orphanage because we know the truth is that no matter how these kids act, they want to be loved, they want our attention, and they want to be poured into, the Lord never gives up on us. I know that He gets jealous when my attention is on other things or when I am captivated by things that I shouldn’t be. But He keeps loving and investing in me. And for that I am forever thankful. We serve a truly amazing, jealous, and unrelenting God.
