Puno, Peru fifty-seven people pressing into Christ and singing His praises, the room is cold but it quickly becomes warm because of the people to space ratio, words of life and encouragement are flying across the room, this is the end of month two and this is my squad. As we were traveling across Peru making our way to Bolivia, we stopped for a break to stay in a Hostel for two nights. The last night we were there our squad leaders gave us the challenge to sit before God for an hour and thirty minutes and ask Him 3 questions. What has He done already? Why did I come on the world race? What do I want to see happen? As I sat before the Lord and as He began to answer these questions it didn’t take long for me to have a page long response for each one. God has been so good to give me purpose and in reminding me that it is because of Him that I am here. When I was done with these questions I just sat in silence, or tried to anyways, and listen to what He had to say to me. If you know me at all, you would know it is really hard for me to be quite, especially when I am talking to God, it seems like I always have something to say. I prayed for God to silence my mind because I really just wanted to hear His voice and I knew this wasn’t possible if my own thoughts were clouding my mind. I’m going to let you in on something, I have been praying for a long time for God to soften my heart, for me to really be able to feel His love, and begin to walk through life in the grace of His love and in His constant presence. But to really do it…I found myself saying, “yes, of course I love God.” But I didn’t feel his love and I didn’t know how much I could really love Him when, most of the time, I didn’t apply His love in my daily life. .
As I was sitting before the Lord, I heard God say, “Kayla, I love you.. And I want you to love others simply because they are mine and that’s what I have commanded you to do.” At first, I didn’t want to embrace that and claim it as what God was saying to me because my mind had been going so much and it is easier to dismiss things then take them for truth sometimes. Shortly after this our time was up and I headed back to the room where my squad was continuing to worship. Lauren, a very gifted, girl on my squad began to play a song and the words were “You made me, You want me, You love me more than I know.” During this song one of my squad leaders, Katie, came over and prayed for me and gave me a really big hug and finally I was like, “Ok God, I get it.. You love me!”
I felt like all of my prayers for wanting to be broken and to truly understand His love were being answered. I felt like He was saying, “Kayla, if you want to do this, then we are going to do it!” This happened last week and since then I have been pressing into God more than I ever have. He has been showing me so many things that I need to get ride of but at the same time teaching me that I cannot earn His love and nothing will ever change the love that He has for me! It has been such a growing and beautiful experience that I wouldn’t give up for the world. My God loves me!!! I am finding that because I am really soaking up His love it is so much easier for me to love everything else that He has made such as my brothers and sisters in Christ, His creation, His word, His correction and guidance.
My hope is that by reading this blog you to truly understand that God loves YOU and He so badly just wants you to rest in His love, to press into Him, to stop striving for His love, and to love others in the same way that He has loved you. Obviously this is something that we will constantly have to put before ourselves and work on. But I know that as we work on it, God will bless us through our obedience and surrender, and we will have the opportunity to bless others. I just want to thank you for allowing me to share my heart and the things that God is teaching me. Please feel free to leave comments of things that God is showing you. I would Love to hear it!!
This month my team has been put together with another team and we will be working with orphans in the burn unit of a hospital, death orphans, street kids, feeding kids, and many other activities that involve kids. This is where my heart is and I am so pumped to love on His children. Please pray for our hearts to be ready for what God has for us this month and for the hearts of all the children, and sometimes parents, that we will interact with as well. Pray that they will be in a place, ready to accept the love of Christ and what He has done for them and that we can have open communication with them. Thanks guys. I love you all so much!!!
Oh we were in a parade this morning… Really, we were!! And I have a picture to prove it!
And here is our travel video from last month (Traveling from Ecuador to Peru) Its long but you may get a couple laughs if you stick it out!!
