A friend of mine recently gave me a book called, “Spiritual Slavery to Spiritual Sonship”…. Reading through this book brought me to the realization that ,most of the time, I live out my relationship with God with the attitude of an orphan heart. Let me explain. According to this author, one who has an “orphan heart” often times doesn’t see themselves the way that God sees them. They tend to look for love through achieving accomplishments, working hard, or what others can do for them. Someone with an orphan heart, often times, has problems with being under authority, and truly believing and accepting love from others.
I haven’t always had the attitude of an orphan heart. I think it all began for me the year after I graduated from high school. I was dating this guy, who happened to be my best friend. He had everything that I ever wanted and to make it even better He loves God. I really thought that one day we were going to get married and that we would live happily ever after. Much to my chagrin, we didn’t work out. After that it was a slow ,but steady, fade into living a life style of a child with an orphan heart. I had been let down, my hopes and plans for the future were quickly crushed and nothing made much sense to me. I naturally felt inadequate and unwanted; which is what made me feel as though I needed to perform the best that I could for God. To prove to Him that I can be good, that I can be worthy of Him, that I can be something that He wants.
During this time in my life I was attending a bible school that I absolutely loved and I was growing so much in my knowledge of who God is and how He loves. But when it came to applying His love to me, I quickly closed my heart. Yesterday my team and I were blessed with the opportunity to go to a baptism. We were told that we would leave around 8, which of course meant 9:45. While we were waiting at the church for the bus to get there I had noticed a mother who had been holding her baby for a long time; so I walked over to her and asked if I could hold her baby so that she could relax for a while. She gladly handed over her precious little girl. Shortly after that our bus arrived. I continued to hold her baby for the next 45 minutes. While we took the bus to the baptism location I couldn’t help but think of the love that God has for me, His daughter, and how much joy He gets from holding me in His arms of love. I was thinking about the pain it must cause Him when I resist that love and chose to believe a lie (or choose to have an attitude of an orphan heart). I wrote this when I got home.
I am not an orphan. I am a daughter of the King. I have a place in His heart and in heaven. My name is in the book of life. My life brings Him a sweet smelling aroma and my heart chooses to beat in surrender and obedience to my Father’s will. I have hope and peace in times of destruction and devastation. When I am weak He makes me strong. When I wake up in the morning I know that it is a new day, because of Him I have no chains. I will follow Him all the days of my life as He fills me with a joy that could never be replaced by anything else. I will smile because I know that He is pleased with me. When I make a mistake or stumble, I will look to Him for the truth of who I am. He reminds me that His love for me is not based on who I am; but on who He is and what His Son has done for me. He holds me in His hands, the same hands that are holding the world, that are holding the universe. There is no place I would rather be than in His arms of love. He makes time for me, He sees me, He loves me. He is my God, He is my Father, He is my daddy. I am a daughter of the King.
Here is the mom and her baby 🙂
Here is me with the baby..
Here are some of the kids that got baptized!!
