“Bless the Lord O my soul and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases” Psalm 103:3
We hear about it all the time in church, that God heals. We’re told of how He can heal spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically. We talk about it, think about it, ask about it, research about it, learn about it and even pray for it.
But do we really believe it?
For myself, I have found that it is much easier for me to believe healing for others than for myself. I have been around the world. I have seen God heal the broken hearted. I have seen pains leave, eyesight restored, and disabled lives restored. I KNOW God heals. I have even seen healing in my own life before, but this time for some reason I couldn’t see it.
Until Monday.
My ankle had been bothering me more and more over the weekend, so Monday I made an appointment with a local doctor to have it checked out. At the appointment, it was determined that I would probably be in the boot for two more weeks just to help things heal. But the x-rays showed no fracture or sight where a fracture had been healed. We had never had full confirmation of a fracture, this had been spoken out and was speculation because of the focal point of my pain and the signs and symptoms. I really believe it was. I honestly think that this was God’s healing, but for those who doubt, just wait because there is more! 🙂 It still was incredibly painful to the touch and to walk on it, so I put the boot back on.
I was on my way back to the Adventures office where all of our training and classes were, when I felt the Lord speak to me. All week people at the Adventures office had been telling me to have one girl pray for me. The Lord had been using her prayers to heal people at the office who had sustained recent injuries and different afflictions. I was always hesitant. Part of me felt like I would be bothering her. However, the Lord revealed to me on that drive that there was something else going on to. I heard Him say:
“Kayla, You need to drop your pride and ask her to pray for you.”
Oh wow. I didn’t realize how prideful I am. This whole time with my ankle being injured the Lord has revealed just how prideful my heart is. It has been SO incredibly hard to ask people for help, to have to rely on others for everything: to help carry my food, to open doors, to wait for me. Ugh, it was so frustrating! But the Lord showed me why I was frustrated. It’s because I didn’t want to be dependent on others. And it symbolized how I was not wanting to be dependent upon Him as much as when I was overseas. (Honestly there are so many lessons I have learned in this season. It’s been hard, but oh so good)
Anyway, when the Lord asked me to drop my pride I was like “But Lord I already did.”
But I still had more to let go of. And so, when I got back to the adventures office, I saw her from across the room and hollered out her name. She came and ate dinner with me and then said that the Lord had spoken to her that morning about praying for me today. Isn’t it crazy how the Lord orchestrates things?!?!?
After we ate, she prayed for me. The girls from my house surrounded me and joined in with our prayers. During that time, the Lord decided not only to bring physical healing but healing to my heart as well. He showed me how I had been feeling like He was punishing me. I had felt Him speaking something very specific to me, but I had ignored it several times and then I got injured. I felt like I deserved to be hurt, deserved to be disciplined for my actions, or lack there of more like. But God spoke love over me. He used my sisters in Christ that were rallied around me to speak truth to my heart and through that, and their mighty prayers, the Lord brought healing to both my heart and my ankle. I was able to get up. I was able to walk (I had taken the boot and ace wrap off for their prayers). I walked across the room without limping. I felt no pain with movement. It was amazing! I just stood there in shock and awe. MY JESUS HEALS!!!!! PRAISE HIS NAME!!!
I still have some pain to the touch, but I have not put the boot back on since. I have been walking, driving, and moving around like normal without any wrap or brace. I can take stairs one at a time instead of having two feet for each step. It’s been so good! I even did my first workout two days ago! I am so blessed and grateful for God’s healing! I fully believe that He is continuing to bring full healing to my ankle. What I am most grateful for is for His healing of my heart and showing me how I had been viewing the situation and Him. He loves me. He didn’t punish me, but sometimes He allows things to happen and brings them all about for our good. And I’m okay with that. In fact, I’m more than okay with that, because I know that I couldn’t have learned the lessons that I have learned through this experience any other way.
So Thank you, Lord, that you are always working things towards my good, even when things may be hard.
Maybe you are experiencing something hard and you can’t see God’s hand in it. I pray that He would give you eyes to see Him and ears to hear His voice. I pray that He would give you strength for the journey and courage to continue trusting in His goodness. He loves you, even if you can’t feel it right now, He loves you.
“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28
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