Fear has been making an appearance in my life more and more over the past couple of months. It’s something that I used to struggle with a lot when I first became a believer. I thought I had gotten over it, but apparently not. I have been trying to push it down, to hide from it, to pretend it isn’t there. And sure, it will go away for a little while, but when it comes back it’s stronger than before. I can’t stop it, and for a while I’ve given up trying. I just go back to ignoring it.
The Lord gave me a vision the other day. I was not seeking Him out, praying or even reading my Bible. In fact, I was actually watching T.V. However, the Lord sought me out anyway, when I was trying to be distracted. He is so faithful. The vision that He gave me was odd and took me off guard. This is what I saw.
That’s right, the Lord gave me a vision of an ostrich. It was the weirdest thing, one moment I’m watching NCIS, then all of a sudden I have this image of an ostrich in my head. I was surprised to say the least. However, I pushed the image aside.
As my day went on, my brain kept going back to the ostrich. What did it mean, an ostrich with it’s head stuck in the sand? They do this when they are scared, but that’s all I can think of. I honestly don’t know anything about ostriches. When I can’t shake the image from my mind, I decide to do some online research to learn a little bit more.
When faced with danger, an ostrich’s first instinct is to run. (a little better than burying it’s head in the sand) And man can they run!! At full speed, an ostrich can reach up to 43 miles per hour!!!!! Craziness! If it cannot run away, the ostrich will lay down and flatten it’s neck and head against the ground. This gives the illusion that they have buried their heads in the sand. (The concept that they bury their heads in the sand is actually a myth. Who knew, right?!)
And then I realized, that’s what I do too. When faced with dangers, whether fear or just issues in life, I like to avoid it. Better yet, I like to hide my head in the sand. (If I can’t see it, then it can’t be there right?) I’m a runner. I’m an ostrich. My first reaction is either to hide or run away. I like to hide in books, to be transformed into a world not my own, to become fully engrossed in the characters and their stories. It let’s me forget about my own. It’s my guilty pleasure.
However, with launch coming closer every day, I’m becoming more aware of how much time I have been wasting hiding in my books or my T.V. shows. My time here is limited, and I’m wasting it. I don’t want to face it, because that mean confronting it and well, I’d just rather not do that. Dealing with the pain? Thanks but no thanks.
I feel like I can’t overcome it, that I’m not strong enough to face it. And the enemy knows that. He exploits my weakness to his advantage. I know he is trying to do everything in his power to stop me from going on this trip.
“Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.” 1 Peter 5:8
As I’m looking at all this information about the ostrich, I’m thinking, “ Great, the Lord is reminding me that I’m a frady cat- awesome.” (Insert sarcastic voice here) But as I continue reading, something catches my eye. I knew that ostriches like to hide. I’ve learned that they also like to run away- very quickly. But I had no idea that the ostrich also has the ability to kill. Yes. that’s right. When an ostrich is being threatened and can not run away or hide, it has only one option left- super powerful kicks. It’s been found that,due to it’s strong legs, the ostrich has the capability to produce enough force in one kick to KILL A LION.
An animal that I honestly did not think could pose much of a threat can kill the king of the jungle. Wow. And suddenly, it clicked. The Lord was not reminding me of my fears, He was reminding me of the power inside me to conquer those fears. He was reminding me of Him, the One who dwells inside of me. The One who gives me strength to stand and power to destroy the enemy. All it takes is one swift kick and he’s outta here!
I realize that a time is coming in my life when I will no longer be able to hide, no longer be able to distract myself with the television or the internet. Over this next year, I will have to face my fears and whatever else is thrown at me and my team. I can not hide and I cannot pretend it’s not there. This year is going to be a challenge. It’s going to be hard. BUT it’s also going to be a learning experience. And we can stand up against it. Not in our own might, but in the Might of the Lord, who is with us EVERYWHERE WE GO. I’m reminded of my life verse:
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified. Do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9
The next time that the enemy tries to come in and create fear, I'm not going to run and I'm not going to hide. Instead, I'm going to face it. I'm going to stand tall and call on the Name of the Lord. I'm going to kick.
Suddenly, I don’t mind being an ostrich anymore. 🙂
