Change. It's part of the process. As we grow, change is bound to occur. Before this season, the biggest change in my life was when I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior almost three years ago. I took a 180 degree turn from everything I knew and followed after Christ with everything I had, something I am still doing today. Change is scary, but it is natural. It is something that needs to occur at least sometime in our life. There are seasons of change and seasons of remaining the same. This season I am in is a season of change. When I first signed up for the World Race, I dawned on me that through this trip, I would be changed. I hunger for that change. I yearn for it. When I have been talking to friends or squad mates, the topic of how "changed" we will be when we come back has come up a time or two. And always, I have been so excited about it. I was almost in awe of it, of all that would occur.
The change in me that I know I so desperately need, yet I was holding it off in the distance. Change would happen but only after I have left, while I was on the race and would be "complete" when I return. I will not be the same Kayla I was yesterday. You may be asking "Well, why did she say yesterday? Most people would write 'today'." I said yesterday because up until yesterday I did not fully understand that this change I was wanting was already occurring. I saw it off in the distance, but through a few discussions with dear friends, God has revealed to me that the change is already happening. It is a process that He is taking me through, in preparation for July. There are several changes, but the most noticeable one's are my passions.
You see, I went to school to become an athletic trainer (no not a personal trainer or "work out person", I worked in sports medicine) Athletic training was my passion. I graduated and passed my certification exam and set forth into the realm of college athletics. I worked as a part time assistant athletic trainer at a junior college in Southern California. My experience there was amazing! I loved the staff, the kids, and my job. Athletes were my passion. There is nothing more rewarding than seeing an injured athlete return to playing the sport they love after spending countless hours with you going through treatment and rehabilitation program that you, yourself designed. Being able to watch them progress, heal, get stronger and then be back at the game they love so much after all your hard work and dedication is such an amazing feeling! Nothing better than that….. or so I thought. Towards the end of my job there, I couldn't help but feel a loss of passion. It just didn't hit me the way it used to. I cared still, but it didn't drive me. So I set out on the journey that led me to the World Race.
I longed for the journey that the World Race is. I desired adventure, an amazing experience with God, and a chance to do mission work once again. The reason I was drawn to the route that I chose because it was the only route that mentioned possibly doing sports camps with kids. (again, athletics is my passion) I have never been drawn to kids strongly. I like to play with them, but being an only child sometimes I have a hard time communicating with them or understanding them. For a time, I was even intimidated by them. (sad I know) This has been the biggest change so far. Suddenly, I am thinking about children a lot. One group that we will be working with often on the race is orphans. God is changing my heart. I knew we are supposed to care for the orphans and the widows, but it has never hit me like this before. My awareness of human trafficking and child abandonment has increased with preparation for the world race and now all I want to do is hold these hurting kids in my arms. My heart breaks for them. There are kids out there who have no mother or father. They have no one to hold them when they don't feel well, to be strong for them when they are scared. They have no one to care for them, no one to love them. I watched a video tonight that completely wrecked me. I want to be there for these kids. I want to stand up for them when no one else can. I want to hold them, to love them, to protect them. I want them to know that they are cherished, that they are children of the King. I want to search them out, to find them and let them know that there are people who care that they are hurting. There is One who can take away the pain.
Honestly, my heart is overwhelmed with this new passion. I have no idea where it will lead me. I do know one thing. That is is real and that it is of God. Only He could change my heart like that. And since it is of God, I know it is good. I know He will use it to better His Kingdom, to reach His children. Who knows, maybe He'll call me to adopt a child on the race. Before tonight, I would have said "No way! I'm a single woman! Never in a million years!" But I'm learning to never say never, because you never know what God will call you to next. I don't want to put a box around my mission. I don't want to have a closed heart to something He may do. So whatever You want to use this passion for God, may I keep my eyes and my heart open to You.
