The intensity of living in tent-city in Tennessee was more then I bargained for. During my journey thus far with the World Race, I have been balancing between being okay with the lack of foreknowledge and what I’m getting in to, and having the desire to know as many details as I can snoop out. When the time for training camp was closely approaching, I found myself trying to piece together what they may throw at us and how I could prepare myself for it. At times, I would try to remind myself that there are times when it is okay to not know the details. But that would fly out the window the minute someone began talking about training camp and what it might be like.
It wasn’t until after I arrived at the beautiful campground and had gone through several emotional days of lessons that I began to see the importance of not knowing. It didn’t come just from the ministry standpoint of never knowing what is going to happen on the mission field and the time context it eventually takes place in. But rather it was being open and willing to let God work on His own timetable and being willing to let things take place when He knew the timing was right. He knew what was going to happen this week and knew what He wanted to show me. He knew the time it would take for me to get to know my team members before I knew who they would be. He knew how to prepare me for learning how to handle changes in my squad and my route.
Without His perfect timing, Training Camp may have been even harder to deal with. I might not have allowed myself to be open to receiving the lessons I learned about myself. And I might not have come out better prepared for this next year of my life.
Through His perfect timing, I was able to begin tracing hurt in my life back to its roots. I could begin to see how that hurt had entered into and affected different areas of my life. I was able to learn the importance of forgiving the hurt that had built up in my life so that I was not held back by that hurt anymore. The process of forgiving and having the ability to move on has begun. And the time for learning how to trust and be vulnerable again is going to be a difficult process. But God has given me several good supporters through my team, and through my parents. I know that this year is going to be painful at times and full of hard lessons to learn. But the outcome at the end will be beautiful and full of joy and freedom. And through God’s perfect timing, I will reach the other side, and be ready for whatever He hands me next.
