Time, time, time, time, time. Oh how I despise that word. It’s such a tiny word, but it has SO much control. “It’s time to leave.” “It’s time to move on.” “It’s time to say goodbye.” “It’s time for change.” Ugh. [Time] and [Change] in the same sentence. .
Well excuse me if those aren’t exactly the phrases I wanted to shape my life around. Excuse me if I never exactly wanted to give in to the reality that time has come and with it has brought change. Because I’ve never been one to embrace either of these. Actually, if change was in the form of a person, my first instinct would be to push it into a pool and then scream and run in the opposite direction. . . weird but true.
Looking back on my life, at 22, I’ve had many opportunities for change. But didn’t we all? Like life had to change when I graduated high school and went to college. Life had to change when I decided on a new career path. It had to change. These were the unavoidable facts.
But for someone who hates change so much, I sure was kind enough to keep inviting it back into my life. Life had to change when I decided to apply for the World Race, and it surely had to change when I was accepted. Life had to change when I had to quit my job. Life had to change when my parents and I made the trip to Atlanta for launch. Even now as I write this, I’m slightly overwhelmed at the amount of change that is happening.
I’m constantly finding myself torn between being excited to begin a new chapter of life and questioning why it is that I’ve said yes to leaving what I already have. I mean my life is darn good. I have a family who would kill for me, an awesome boss and job, and I’ve just graduated from a top university. So why change that?
I. Have. No. Clue.
Multiple times I’ve been alone and thought aloud, “Why the heck am I going on this race?” And multiple times I have heard no answer which, let’s be real, frankly just pissed me off. No one likes to ask a question and not hear a reply.
And it’s not like I was being rude when I asked it. I just wanted a simple, “Because I said so.” But God doesn’t operate like that, at least from what I’ve experienced. He isn’t going to sit me down like a five year-old with her mother just to tell me that it’s His way or the highway. Instead, He sent my grandmother.
Did you know that Matthew 19 ends by telling us of a man who has asked Jesus what it is that he must do to receive eternal life? Because I didn’t. Jesus replies by telling him to keep the commandments. The man answers that he has done this and continues to ask what it is he lacks. Jesus then replies,
“If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”
When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth.
He then stated to His disciples,
“Truly I tell you, at the renewal of all things, when the Son of Man sits on his glorious throne, you who have followed me will also sit on twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel. And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life. But many who are first will be last, and many who are last will be first.”
There it is. The scriptural smack down I had been waiting on. Brought to me in the form of a 4’11” tiny little grandmother.
Jesus says it. EVERYONE WHO HAS LEFT FOR HIS SAKE. He didn’t say everyone who took the easy way out. He didn’t say pleasant. He said for Him and Him alone.
Paul says, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” All things. All isn’t exclusive. It means what it says. All. The good, the bad, the ugly. All. The things which require little to no sacrifice [enter change] as well as the things that ask much of us [enter change again].
In one day, I along with 400+ racers will embrace a great sacrifice. I say sacrifice because I know for me it will be the hardest thing I’ve had to do. However, I also say embrace. Because when you embrace something you grab hold of it. You give it all you have. Saying goodbye is great change. But it is necessary. If we are to follow completely FOR HIM, then we must abandon ourselves completely to Him.
Over the next 11 months I have absolutely no idea what to expect. But upon return I can be sure that the time will not have been wasted. Because this is a change I am choosing to embrace. I pray that we all come back and the glory and goodness and mighty awesomeness of our Father is so evident in our walk as returned racers, that the world around us has no option but to want what it is we’ve got. That they want a change.
So as we go with this great change, I pray this reminder upon us all:
“The Lord himself will go before you. He will be with you, he will not leave you or forget. Don’t be afraid, do not worry.” Deuteronomy 31:8.
