Training Camp. phew. I don’t even know what to say to describe it. It’s like when you go and see this epic, awesome, life-altering movie that takes up no less than two hours of your life and then walking out and a week later trying to write a synopsis. You hit the major details, but you forget the emotions. You know they were intense when they happened but trying to describe them now only makes your head hurt. You know you cried, you know you laughed, you know you thought “what the heck is happening” but you can’t remember what exactly it was that made that thought or reaction happen.
Training camp was like that.
Except not really.
I know I laughed, and while I can’t remember every funny scenario down to the wire I can tell you that every time I look upon a picture of the face of a person I encountered at camp, emotions want to just pour from my veins. You know the feeling whenever you see your best friend after months of being separated. That giddiness and stupid amount of glee that overtakes you? I GET THAT FROM FACEBOOK PICTURES. The impact of the relationships built at camp is that strong. It’s a whole new level.
And I KNOW I CRIED. And I know why. I know God took me and showed me that He wants me to be His daughter, not his servant. Because a servant sits at the foot of their master, and I don’t know about you but My Dad wants me at his side walking hand in hand with Him. God showed me that a relationship isn’t built on one person constantly trying to prove to the other that they are good enough. A relationship is honest. A relationship is open. A relationship says, “Here I am. Here is all of my crap. I want to be in this with you. I want to do life with you because without you there is a part of me that will never be whole.”
I cried because I realized that I’ve spent nearly 15 years thinking that I was doing exactly what it was that God wanted me to do. I was trying SO hard to be a perfect example. It wasn’t until I realized how mad I would be if all of the relationships I had built throughout my life were like the one I was trying to have with God. What if my friends were constantly trying to prove themselves to me instead of just being with me? What if my parents were constantly there to give me everything I needed but I was giving them nothing in return. No love. No appreciation. Not even taking the time to just walk and talk.
That. Is. Not. A. Relationship.
My Father is a Father who wants to walk with me. He is a Father who wants to pick me up when I fall. He is a Father who wants to know me. Wants to know what hurts me. Wants to know what makes me laugh. What makes me smile.
I hope you’re ready for this mind-blowing piece of awesomeness that is about to hit you:
God isn’t waiting on us to become a certain person.
Boom.
So wake up sleeper.
Be the person you are where you are. Be the genuine, unapologetic, awesome Son/Daughter of the Father of all Fathers. Because He’s ready.
