And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9
For the weary, burnt out World Racer – myself and so many others can relate. Either we are there or we have been. I see people starting off their #11n11 or their #3n9, some still preparing for launch, having recently finished training camp. Some are baby racers, just starting out on the field and figuring out what Race life is like. Some are somewhere in the middle of it all, moving around and having gotten used to the craziness of constantly uprooting. And some, like me, are nearing the home stretch. The end is within sight. All of us who launched in January are in our final two weeks. And the second of those two weeks is actually debrief/travel, so really it’s just a few more days. I often ask myself how I got here so quickly. This is the time that my World Race life is flashing before my eyes on a daily basis, as I reflect on what this entire year has brought.
Then comes the question: Have I grown at all this year? I’ve heard many of my squad mates ask this, and so have I. It’s a good question to ask – but the answer we get from others or even ourselves will usually not be satisfying.??
It is then that I find myself being prompted by the Holy Spirit that it wasn’t about getting “x amount” of things accomplished or changed in the time frame of January 10 – November 25. A lot of us put God in this timeline to do a certain amount of work in us during the time frame we have imagined up for ourselves. But God was active in our lives before the Race, and He will do even more after. Maybe a lot about this year was about simply abiding – abiding in the day to day and in the constant changes thrown our way. Sometimes it can be difficult to see the tangible changes in the moment. You need time for the seeds that have been sown to sprout and some more time to get a better picture. It’s easy to get discouraged when we feel we haven’t made the progress we expected ourselves to make this year.
I see people at the start of this adventure – wide-eyed with all their spunk and charisma and still living in the high of serving and doing the World Race thing. I remember being there and drinking in everything it had to offer. I remember just scratching the surface of this experience. I’ll confess there is often a twinge of envy I have for those who are still in the beginning stages: when everything about the Race is mesmerising and exciting and Instagram worthy.
But the reality is that this high will start to fade a bit over time. Everyone hits this point somewhere along the way, and let me tell you something: That’s alright. It’s a long journey and a unique kind of life. Sometimes I feel as though I have the disposition of a weary traveler instead of an eager young missionary who jumps at the chance of every opportunity. But I’ve come to peace with my shortcomings, because I know they are going to play a part in growing me and preparing me for what is to come.
So here’s one basic tip that has helped me personally: Remember those moments where the LORD is so clearly speaking to you. You will all have your one of a kind experiences and friendships that will never leave you. Write them down, keep them in your back pocket when things get hard. These moments are proof of God keeping His promises.
For me this was sweet, but sassy, pre-teen Nidia in Nicaragua, who bought me a gatorade and brought it to me when I was sick. This was the wonderful Caballero family on their coffee plantation in Panamá who took us in on a few hours notice and adopted us as their own. This was Fiorella, one of the Peruvian pre-school teachers who sat with me on my bed to talk for hours because she genuinely wanted to know me and be my friend. And I could go on.
It’s also incredible the bonds I’ve created along the way with these friends who have become family. The Santos family in El Salvador my first month of the Race (and also my favorite month), the contact/family that I’m closest to and who has loved and supported me every step of the way through the following 10 months. Laura and Mandy from Colombia (another favorite) who always check in on me as well and let me Skype with them and my precious kids from the after school program I helped out at. The Zuniga Family from Ecuador who went far above the call of duty as host family and who encompass the Great Commission in their daily lives. I seriously could go on and on.
Add all these things together, and even in the weary moments, the lazy ones, the discouraged ones, there is no doubt that the LORD is present, the LORD uses His body, His kingdom, to uplift and love me.
World Racer, you might grow weary, but never grow weary of doing good – the LORD will sustain you. For the amped up and beginning racer – hold onto that fire as long as you can, and when it begins to dwindle, do not forget God’s faithfulness in your life.
And wherever you find yourself emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually, etc., make sure the you are ultimately asking the Holy Spirit to reveal the changes in you, and being okay with the fact that maybe it’s just one for now. Remember it’s not about the quantity, but the quality of growth.
The truth is, we’ll spend our entire earthly life needing to grow and be refined, and the Race is just one chapter of that. The end of the Race is not this “end all be all” or climax of your spiritual growth. It certainly is not intended for that. Have grace for yourself – a lot of it. Allow the LORD to use this time to refine you, but do not expect to be fully refined by the end of it. Expect to be exactly where the LORD wants you – and trust that you will end up there, right where He wants you.
We put our hope in the LORD. He is our help and our shield. In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. Let your unfailing love surround us, LORD, for our hope is in you alone. Psalms 33:20-22
