Training camp was not what I expected, but then again I don’t exactly know what I expected it to be or how I could even describe what I did expect. I did have a hard week but it wasn’t in ways I normally would have struggled in group settings. I honestly spent the first few days of camp in a sort of daze, it was really hard for me to adjust to being at TC and not being busy back here in Oregon. It didn’t seem like it was real, I guess that was partially because I had no time to process the fact that I was meeting the people of NSquad in person before I left, I was so busy and sick before I left I couldn’t focus on anything but what was needed right that moment. Being at TC was honestly a semi-vacation for me, I didn’t have to think about lesson plans, classroom management and everything else I had to do. I had an excuse to just be for the week.
Looking back two things stand out as not affecting me like I would have expected. The first is I expected to struggle a little more socially, as my friends and church family can attest I am not an outgoing person, I don’t like starting conversations with people I don’t know well and will stand in the back and observe. That wasn’t as much of a struggle for me, by no means was I outgoing and started tons of conversations with everyone on NSquad, but I did talk to people more than I would have normally. That was a God thing, I felt comfortable with these people I only knew through facebook. The second thing was when my bag was ‘lost’ by NSquad Airlines; I really wasn’t stressed about it. I took it in stride better than I would have imagined, yes I missed my toothbrush (A LOT), but thanks to Melissa Milroy I was taken care of and realized how much things don’t matter.
The pile of bags NSquad airlines 'lost' on a travel day.
I struggled in other ways too this last week. I honestly struggled with the first few messages of the week by Ron Walborn, not because they were new concepts to me, but because they were exactly what my church believes, and what I have seen in action throughout my walk with God.(which is awesome)But I wanted to learn something new, to take something away from those meetings that I didn’t know before, instead I came away with a reinforced gratitude for my church back here at home, I realized just how much God prepared the way for me to be where I am right now. I realized how thankful I am for God leading me to Providence and for everything that has happened since I have been there.
I somewhat silently struggled with God. Coming to camp sick was hard, I really wanted to be fully invested in TC and I wanted to stop coughing! I prayed a lot during training camp for my cough to be healed, I believed it would be, and I had others pray for me too. But God had different plans and I see that now, but part of me throughout the week wondered why He wouldn’t get rid of my cough, it was just a cough after all.
Even with everything I struggled with being home has been more stressful than all of the hard things at TC combined. I ended up going to the Urgent Care on Sunday after I got home from Church because of my cough. I was told I was that I had walking pneumonia, and given some medication and a note to miss classes and student teaching till Wednesday (today). I surprised the doctor as I burst into tears when he told me what he thought I had, he told me “people don’t normally cry when I tell them that” it was then he realized just how busy I have been and how busy I am right now. You see God knew I needed a break. I have been on the go since the middle of Aug, with prep for TC, fundraising, student teaching, church, and my best friend’s wedding this coming Sunday. I haven’t had time to just sit and think, pray or even read a book. All of which I am getting to do right now. I tried to go back to school this morning, I made it through the two hour staff meeting before I told my teacher I was going home, I won’t be back in the classroom until Monday. I know this will potentially bring me more stress, as it means I have to figure out how to make my 440 hours in the classroom while missing not only one week for TC but two weeks. It means I have to rearrange my lesson plans, when I teach and when I am observed. It means that the new schedule that my teaching team has implemented will be completely new to me when I get back, what I knew as our daily schedule will look nothing like how it is now. It means living in the now, not the future; I will have to be focused on what God has in front of me right now for the rest of the term and not just what he has in store for me in January. It also means depending on God even more, because none of these things will be possible without His help.
Overall a lot has happened in the last two weeks with training camp, and sickness, this is really just a small snapshot as to what is going on and really doesn’t make a dent in the things I learned or the stories I have to share, so if you want to know more just ask, I would love to share more about what God is doing in me right now.
Worship
Setting Up Tents the first day
'Sleeping' on a school bus – 60 people + 60 packs + 60 day bags
Washing dishes
NSQUAD
(All pictures taken by my AWESOME Squadmates)
Below: Video of Training Camp by Melanie Heath
