Matthew 14:25-32
Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said and cried out in fear. But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.” “Lord if it is you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.” “Come,” he said. Then Peter got out of the boat, walked on the water and came towards Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?” And when they climbed back in the boat, the wind died down. Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying ” Truly you are the Son of God.”
I am Peter.
I wanted to go on this race because I wanted to know God. Truly know him, and truly need him.
So like Peter, I’m stepping out on the water to find Jesus. I’m stepping out of my “boat”, the things I’m used to, my family, my friends. And I’m searching for who Jesus is. This sounds much more heroic than it actually is.
Because like Peter, I’m scared.
And like Peter I’m noticing the wind. That I’ll be missing my family (whom I have never been away from for longer than a week) That I’ll be missing my friends and that they might have moved on when I come back, or that my baby sister won’t remember me by the time I come home. That I won’t be going to college this year like most people, or starting a career. That I won’t see my puppy, or get to eat my favorite foods, or use a normal bed.
And like Peter, I start to sink.
I start to doubt if this is really what I want to do. If maybe I didn’t really hear from God. If maybe, I’m not cut out for this.
But then like Peter, I start to cry.
I cry out to God. “God!” “Is this really what you have for me?” “I can’t do it!”
And you know what? Just like with Peter, Jesus immediately told me, “I will catch you. I will hold you up. You don’t have to do it alone! I will never leave you, or forsake you.”
Why did I doubt?
Because like Peter, I have little faith. I forget that God is all powerful. I forget that He is already standing on the water. I don’t trust what He has in mind, because I can’t see it. I try to be in charge, when I need to be leaning on God.
Because Jesus said to Peter when He caught him, “You of little faith, why did you doubt?”
Because like Peter, Jesus will catch me if I fall, but knows that if I look at him, and not at the winds around me, I won’t fall.
And like Peter, I will get to Jesus either way. If He catches me, or if I walk to him.
I don’t know what’s going to happen. I don’t know if I will love this trip, or hate it. I don’t know if my friends will remember me. I don’t think my sister will. I don’t know if I’ll come back completely different. I don’t know if I will fall or walk.
But I do know that Jesus said “Come.” So, I’m stepping out on to the water.
And I do know that Jesus will catch me. Just like Peter.
