I didn't know there was an art to eating the variety of bugs I had just purchased at the Sunday market until a sweaty Muai Thai boxer who had just won a fight approached and said we were doing it all wrong.
I was hoping that him showing us the right way to eat bugs would somehow make the bugs taste delicious, because the silk worm and grasshopper and random beetle that lives on mango trees I had just consumed were absolutely revolting. First, the Muai Thai boxer showed us that on most the bugs, the heads should be ripped off. You would think that would make things less disgusting since that's one less part of the bug you have to eat, but tearing the head off only makes you more queasy. The legs have to come off too. And the wings? Yep, those come off too.
The giant beetle, measuring in at about 3 inches long, needed to be cracked apart completely to get to the innards. You'd think with how much I love cracking open king crab (which could basically be seen as a giant sea bug), that I wouldn't mind doing it to a beetle, but somehow I still viewed it as something completely different.
Once things have been pulled off and cracked open, you have to find a way to then get yourself to stick the bug in your mouth. I tried to imagine they were something different, like funky looking pieces of popcorn, as I popped one after another into my mouth. I tried to convince myself as I was chewing them that they had a decent flavor to them. It didn't do the trick though because I still found myself gagging, making all sorts of disgusted faces, and getting in an "ewwwwwwwwww" every 15 seconds or so. I have never been more thankful to have a diet coke by my side.
I don't know why I put eating bugs in Thailand on my World Race bucket list. Nine months ago I thought it was a good idea. I thought it would be a fun experience and that maybe the bugs would be surprisingly delicious. In reality, it was gross. An hour after consuming the bug buffet, I could still taste them and I was still finding little pieces of bug caught in my teeth. I'm so glad it's over with. From now on, I'll be happy to stick with the Pad Thai.
