This month my team had the pleasure of working with Camp Joy in Cape Town, South Africa. In all honesty, I’ve never seen any organization truly encompass their name and even motto, “A Time to Change,” like Camp Joy does. I mean walking in there for morning devotions was probably the most joyful thing I have ever been involved with; and if you know me, I am not a joyful morning riser.
Camp Joy is a rehabilitation facility, but one with an atmosphere centered around Christ. The phrase behavior modification takes on a whole new meaning when you include the gospel. And that is why Camp Joy is so awesome. They are focused on not only helping people in their struggling addictions, but also in helping them shift their focus to The Lord and His kingdom.
I remember going on the first day thinking what am I supposed to do here, I don’t have any background in this, I can’t relate to them, all I can do is be relational. [this is where i literally laughed out loud to myself]. All I can do is be relational, that is exactly what The Lord has been calling me to do the entire race. So that’s exactly what I did…I made friends, best friends; friends that I will never forget, memories that will forever be engraved in my heart.
I have been going into every ministry asking The Lord to use me; choose me to help change people’s lives. I know he’s laughing while I’m writing this because that’s what I thought I was going on the race for–to help change people’s lives, to be effective and impactful. My favorite quote is “Be the change you wish to see in the world-Ghandi.” And that has been my wish not only for the race, but throughout the race. Every single month The Lord shows me that the race isn’t just about being the change, but letting the change occur in my own life. I didn’t come on the race to stay the same, I came to be changed–to be molded into who he has planned all along for me to be. At Camp Joy I didn’t just help in the behavior modification of the participants, I became a participant myself. I became someone who experienced spiritual behavior modification done by the big man himself.
I have never experienced God like I did this month. He is so real, so involved, so here. Here in South Africa, in my life, in this race, in my team. One day The Lord chose me; he chose to use me in effecting change in someone else’s life. I don’t know if you realize how heavy the word chose can be. Chose can be defined as “to pick out or select (someone or something) as being the best or most appropriate of two or more alternatives.” Say what? I am the best or most appropriate choice? I still laugh at this because I am a disobedient hot mess; but still the Lord’s timing is and always will be perfect. Back to my story, The Lord chose me. He chose me to intercede for one of the women during a morning devotion. Like I said before I’m not a morning person, and I was struggling hard this morning. I walked in and sat down next to a woman named Natasha. She was new, she actually came in after we had already started our month of ministry. She was quiet and didn’t say much, so I felt safe sitting next to her this morning. I can hear God chuckling right now, haha.
God uses us in our weakest moments, in times where we are completely broken, and feeling useless. That’s exactly how I felt. And after asking Natasha how she was that morning, she was too. In fact, so much so that she got up and walked out during devotions. When she got up, I felt the Holy Spirit literally enter my body and I had to sit down. My chest got heavy and I felt so empathetic towards Natasha (both things I don’t normally experience). I felt tears welling up in my eyes, I just wanted to come to devos and leave. Why did God have to choose me now, this morning, in this moment? After a short debate with God, I also walked out of morning devos. I went into the lobby with my Bible and cried out to God, I have no idea what you want me to do; I don’t know how to help; I am struggling just as much as she is. In this moment, I experienced God in ways I didn’t even know I could. He completely changed my attitude and the posture of my heart; He changed me in that moment and I will never be the same. I began praying so hard for Natasha. I even opened my Bible and The Lord began putting verses in my head. Some that I knew and others that I was so confused about, but either way I wrote them down on a card I found in my Bible. I can’t tell you what I said, what I remember praying, or even what I wrote down. All I know is that when Natasha came and found me later and thanked me, I knew it was God. She told me she was packing her bags to leave, she missed her son too much and couldn’t stay a moment longer. And then suddenly she also felt The Lord, in the middle of packing, and just stopped. Stopped and prayed. Something she had not done in a while. I remember talking about what The Lord revealed to both of us, and how it was so in line and intertwined that it literally blew my mind. Specifics, I can’t remember; but I do remember seeing God’s hand alllllllll over this moment. I still get chills thinking about it.
God chooses us, even when we don’t feel chosen. When we don’t feel adequate, when we too are struggling, when we feel broken is when he wants us the most. In Matthew it says that is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick; not the righteous, but the sinners (9:12-13). How cool is it that we don’t have to come to God in our best moment, but we can come to him completely broken. And in that brokenness He just wants to ravish us with His love and grace. He wants to fill us so much that the literal overflow of our heart, even in that brokenness, completely exudes the identity of Christ.
That’s exactly where I am. In my time at Camp Joy, in my spiritual behavior modification I’ve decided to lay down who I am at the cross, and pick up who The Lord has me to be. It has not been easy, and it’s a continual decision. But having experienced God the way I have, why would I not want more? I am so pumped, like literally stoked, to see how much more I can experience God. And it doesn’t take someone an 11 month mission trip to experience God. What it takes is an obedient decision. A decision that I must decrease so he can increase. A decision I am choosing to make from this day forward. One that I, and even you can make right where you are, just as you are. A simple call to obedience is all he wants.
Please keep me in your prayers; that my obedience just continually grows. That I step out in the boldness of who I am becoming. That I become so Christ-like that when people see me, that they see right through my physical appearance and only see Christ in my spiritual appearance. That they do not remember who I am, but they remember an encounter they had through Christ in me.
This is my prayer. This is my cry. This is my behavior modification.
Peace and Blessings
