the L word
yes, it is that one you're thinking of…
Love
It's such a short word, but one with such meaning behind it.
Love can be defined as a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
For me, love is passionate, intimate, and genuine. That can't eat, can't sleep kind of love.
It's a word that shouldn't be thrown around, but in our society today it is wayyy overused.
I think that is why I have had such a problem with the word;
such a disgust for the misuse of it, and the lack of meaning behind it.
In a way, I hated the word love… (like who does that?)
After training camp I had been asking The Lord to reveal to me a theme, something that He really wanted me to understand and get out of this infamous training camp.
Side note: Training camp for the World Race was no church beach camp, but preparation for an 11 month mission trip to love the lost. At TC we needed to genuinely love ourselves first; which goes without saying, it was a soul searching, heart crying, stankyyy week (I only got one shower).
Even a few weeks after training camp I still could not figure out what it was I needed to get.
Like come on God I leave in a month, what are you trying to teach me?!
Needless to say he still wants me to learn patience, but that was only a small part of the bigger theme he would soon reveal to me.
It all hit me during their first dance. My best friend was getting married, thankfully before I left for the race, so I was able to be there for her. Of course in my mind I was thinking that I was there for her–I mean it is her wedding day right? Well, see, that's where the Lord's sense of humor comes in. He was planning all along to show me this theme, that I was so readily searching for, through her (which she still has no idea about). As she began to dance with her husband, I glanced over at my friend who was still crying, so of course I began laughing, yes I'm that girl. I began to ask her why and she told me to just look–"look at the way he loves her."
Since my friend had walked down the aisle, her husband had not stopped looking at her; his gaze was fixed upon her in such a way that it exuded love, a love I had never seen before.
In that moment I realized what The Lord wanted me to see, what he has been trying to show me all along. Love.
That deep, intimate, passionate, heart wrenching, gotta have it kind of love. If you know me, the only relationship I've ever had like that is with ice cream. But at this moment I was not thinking of someone or even ice cream that I could find this in, but that this kind of love is how the Lord loves me.
I get chills now even thinking about it. How can someone, anyone, love that much?
I had never been able to wrap my head around this idea until this very moment. The moment in which I saw my best friend who had a relationship founded in The Lord, marrying someone who loves her like Jesus does.
I literally saw a physical representation of how The Lord wants to pursue me, be intimate with me, how he longs for a relationship with me. The kind of love I had always thought wasn't real or only existed in the Little Mermaid (BIG fan of Ariel).
Ever since the wedding I've seen the world in ways I could have never imagined. I have had a complete shift in thought, in my perspective, and most definitely in my heart. I literally feel like a different person; the way you perceive the world can ultimately change who you are, and even more your identity in Christ.
I even had one of those life flash before your eyes kind of moment. But it revolved around this theme of Love, and so many different ways The Lord had been trying to show me, but I was just completely oblivious. I actually laughed out loud at myself because I was so persistent in asking God to reveal this to me, and he was; I just never saw it. I imagined him chuckling with me at this moment; for some reason I think of God chuckling, not laughing, with maybe a few snorts here and there too.
As I sit here in a room of the hostel we are staying in, looking out the windows at the city of Chiang Mai, Thailand, I realize how much love The Lord has for his people. Not only the people of this city, but the squad he sent, Q SQUADDD. I have become so in loveee with this unique group of individuals and could not be more honored to be spending the next 11 months with these people, his people, the ones He has called.
I ask you to pray for God to reveal to you a theme for your life. But even further than that I challenge you to ask The Lord for a complete shift in your life to occur. Begin to pray everyday for your eyes, to become the Lord's eyes; for your heart to become the Lord's heart. He will reveal to you things you have never even imagined. This is real; this is passionate; this, is love.
